I didn’t want to write another update post, but…

I’m nervous about tomorrow’s job interview. This is my 3rd interview not including the initial screen with the recruiter. Or maybe this counts as my 5th – I don’t know how you count it when one of your interviews is a panel interview with multiple people from the company.

I shouldn’t be so nervous. I’ve certainly had practice. I’ve had something like 8-10 interviews or informal conversations re: ~6 job opportunities in the last two weeks. It’s kind of hard to keep track. I suppose this is how the married men having multiple affairs feel – trying to balance all the various appointments in the schedule and give each mistress appropriate attention while feigning loyalty to the wife. Anyway, it’s not really 6 job opportunities anymore. More like 2. Some of them were not a good fit and some of these employers have selected other candidates. But the previous interviewers for this job, including the person who would be my boss, seemed to like me.

Self-portrait? Except that these have been virtual interviews. Image by Tumisu from Pixabay

Tomorrow’s interviewer is based in Europe. Historically, I have found that American interviewers tend to like me as a job candidate and European interviewers do not. American interviewers tend find me intelligent and personable; European interviewers have tended to find me stupid and unprofessional. Of course there are exceptions. Plenty of American interviewers thought I was a fool, and the European interviewers eventually decided to hire me for the job I have now, although they did reject me first (but they also rejected everyone else and the American interviewer got them to reconsider me so here I am).

This might all be meaningless generalizations. Not sure I’ve had enough interviews to draw any real conclusions.

Tomorrow’s interviewer is French. You’d think this would be a good thing since I took French, but my French is too terrible now to be an asset. It turns out that one lesson in French class over a decade ago on interviewing your classmates, who speak the same slow, shitty French that you do, is not good preparation for a future job interview with an actual French person. The job and interview are in English at least.

That isn’t the only reason I feel a lack of confidence. Part of it is the usual being spread too thin to do anything properly. Normal people can work at their current jobs, apply for other jobs, and celebrate Passover (with its two sets of Yom Tov days and effectively one extra Shabbat),. I can’t, which is why I am screwing up badly at current job, and failing at Passover – my parents are coming for a meal over Yom Tov and I have no idea what I am making, no useful groceries, and no time to shop at a store with a decent Kosher for Passover section. At this rate, our Yom Tov meal will be tuna fish and potato chips. That is a crappy meal even by “8th day of Passover” standards. My parents are the nicest people in the universe and they would totally pretend to be thrilled to eat matza, tuna fish, and potato chips, but still.

Also, I am reading a self-help book. I will need to write a separate blog post about this book and why I am reading it, but suffice it to say, although self-help books are suppose to be empowering, I usually feel lousier, more inadequate, and more stressed-out after reading them. Like now I have to add “self-improvement” to my to-do list and it is one more thing for me to fail at.

*Sigh*

Wish me luck. I need it.