It’s Just Paper

Maybe I’m hallucinating,

stupid on opiates and drink,

to think that I could take this

job offer,

fold it into an airplane,

and fly away

from myself.

After all, it’s just paper –

soggy when wet.

© 2021 Jewish Young Professional

From The Sunday Muse

***

Written for The Sunday Muse #155

32 comments

    • It is so tempting to imagine that there is an external change that’s going to be the ticket to get out of this rut. I have to keep reminding myself I can’t keep putting all that expectation weight on say, a job offer (that I might not even get) because the plane will crash and burn.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah. It’s really only in the past year that I’ve fully acknowledged that I myself am the thing that needs to change, and without that all the external improvements are just bandaids. It’s a hard pill to swallow.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! I recall a post you had written a few months ago about how you went to Thailand, but also couldn’t escape from yourself. Similar concept here.
      The ultimate goal is how to make oneself someone you don’t want to escape from (since you won’t be able to anyway). An interesting question…

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh yeah. I’ve been trying to listen more to my conscience—and it does show itself, in moments of regret, mostly, like after drinking, or waking up late—and just trying my darnest not to repeat my mistakes.

        I find that if I do that the entire day, I go to bed with less worries than if I bum the entire day, for example. Wishing you all the best with this!

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Freedom…It is hoped for, anticipated, but there may be a wet paper plane that has to meet it’s drowning before you can soar. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wonderful idea, YJP. Like I once was asked, “Do you really want this job?” I had a friend once who wanted us to get our balloon pilots license, we would tie helium filled balloons to lawn chairs. Huge paper gliders might have had more credence.
    ..

    Liked by 1 person

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