Tucking my keys into my bra, I thought of how preparation for a walk to shul on Shabbat is similar to preparation for a night of clubbing - the way it is preferable to take your keys and leave the rest of your purse behind, the way a pair of black hooker boots completes either outfit. “You can’t keep straddling the fence,” Eitan told me, “You need to make a choice.” But for a long time I straddled worlds and days of the week: Thursday night - clubbing. Friday night - Shabbat dinner. Saturday – Shabbat services. Saturday night- dancing again. Sunday morning – Torah study. The two sides worked in unison like bike pedals, propelling me through college. Only, I was travelling along a fault line which widened after graduation to a gorge I could no longer bridge with my body. So I chose the simpler side. But today, as I lock the door and tuck my keys into my bra I wonder what could have been if I’d swung my black-booted legs to the other side. © 2021 Jewish Young Professional
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Revision of an old poem for dVerse, Go Dog Go Cafe, and retroactively for The Sunday Muse because I think this image also captures the balancing act.
Jewish Young Professional 
One of the more thought-provoking responses to our challenge …. a great write, a wonderful read!!!
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Thanks! I love when dVerse has me digging through my archives of old drafts and gives me an opportunity to revise.
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My wife has a friend here in Israel with 4 kids who covers her hair, observes Shabbat, etc., and still goes to dance clubs. Obviously that’s יוֹצֶה דָפֶן, but it’s not impossible.
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I actually don’t necessarily believe religious and secular pursuits have to be an unbridgeable dichotomy. This was originally a much older draft inspired by a previous shomer negiah relationship in which that was much more the case. One of the things that was nice about the early days of the current relationship was that we could observe Shabbat together and go out dancing together. (Not that the current state of current relationship is anything to celebrate, but it wasn’t always like this.)
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Loved this 💖
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Thank you!
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What an interesting counterpoint! And what a bridge to be! Love this poem.
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Thank you! It was an experience – trying to bridge the secular world and religious and trying to convince myself it was sustainable. “Eitan” was ultimately right that I needed to pick a side.
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Nice work. It made me think. I especially liked the concept of two opposing forces working together to power you forward in ‘two sides worked in unison like bike pedals’
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It actually really felt that way! I enjoyed having that secular life and that religious life and it felt like it was working. In the end, that wasn’t quite the case and I had to get off the pike, but it really did feel that way for a time.
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Ah, clubbing. It feels like a whole lifetime since my clubbing days.
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I hear you. I think I last went out for a bachelorette party maybe 4 years ago. Kind of sad actually.
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A wonderful poem so well written! Seems a choice we all have to make as we come to mid-life. Love the boots!! :>)
Dwight
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Those boots are a wardrobe staple! They work with everything!
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I can imagine they do!
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Thank you for this well-written, personal poem. I really enjoyed it. I particularly loved “The two sides worked in unison like bike pedals,” as well as the image of the boots working for both outfits. I’m not religious–and I was never a club-goer either–but I wonder, too, if making a choice is part of a growing up process. Thank you for joining in!
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Making choices definitely is a part of growing up. At the time, I was under the delusion that riding that bike of two different lives was working and sustainable, but it really wasn’t. Thanks for reading! Glad it was accessible to the non-religious, non-club hoppin’ crowd!
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It definitely was. Everyone makes choices. 😀
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Hugs
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Gratefully accepted and sending air hugs (if wanted) right back to you!
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Thank you!
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Loved it.
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Thank you!
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You’re welcome! 🙏
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I feel this. Although instead of choosing a side, or even trying to bridge both, I ended up choosing neither. Just kind of chilling at the bottom of the gorge, if you will.
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I really identify with the falling in the gorge and setting up camp there feeling
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It’s fun to wonder what-if from time to time as long as we don’t dwell in it. We can only be where we are right at this moment. Where we go from here though is another matter 😉
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Good point. I am convinced that “What if I had done XYZ” is the most useless question. It really never leads to anywhere productive. You can only enjoy the moment and plan for the future.
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Thanks for sharing that refledtion. I learnt from it.
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Thank you! Glad you enjoyed.
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Oh this is absolutely lovely! It’s been a while since we went out clubbing … feels like ages ago. No matter, those days will return. 💝💝
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I am rather pessimistic by nature (pre-COVID, I would have described myself as “a happy pessimist”; now, I would describe myself as “an unhappy pessimist”) but the club near me has started planning events, guest DJs, etc. and I must admit that I’m allowing myself to get excited!
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tantalizing and beautifully written; I like the bike pedal metaphor 🙂
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Thanks!
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I love the thoughts and questions this stirs! A truly wonderful poem for the prompt! So glad you made the choice to share this at the Sunday Muse! 🙂
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Thanks for the image inspiration and for indulging a retroactive entry to the prompt!
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This takes me to all the questions I once asked in my days of “what if”. Love this response to the image.
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I am convinced that “What if”, when asked retrospectively about the past, is the most useless question. And yet it is also so very easy to get sucked into.
Thank you!
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A very interesting dilemma both theologically and sociologically.Orthodox Christians share the same problem.We live in a culture where self gratification is encouraged…you can have it all is the mantra….makes it hard on the young,,,
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Thank you for sharing. Interesting to hear about how balancing religious-secular desire and that tension plays out in other religious traditions
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[…] a bit after college. I mean flirting in the literal sense; the “Eitan” character in this poem is based on a real person. I also found myself romanticizing the idea of becoming Orthodox. I […]
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I really love how you used the bicycle image! I know that feeling of trying to fit into two quite different worlds. Eventually a choice has to be made. Such a good poem.
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At the time, it really felt like the two halves of the bicycle were really working in unison. Really they were not, but that was how I remember feeling at the time. Thank you!
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[…] Write your story down because someday, you’re not going to remember this shit. You should do this even if your story is, in fact, shit [Cousin’s and Sibling’s feedback notwithstanding, pretty much all of my stories from that era were not actually that good, possibly because they were conceived of by a six-year-old (although that’s no excuse because there are talented six-year-old writers)], because the deeply crappy story you write down now could be revised to, or inspire, something halfway-decent later. I have done this with some of my crappy college/early post-college era poems. […]
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