
High on the open bar offerings, cocktail hour hors d’ouvres,
and life, I toasted them – Noah & Hannah –
one of those couples for whom you feel unbridled
happiness. Another toast. But before the dancing started,
I was clutching the toilet like a steering wheel,
steeling myself against a swaying world.
Since then, I cannot drink wine without tasting
the sour shadow of the tides about to change.

***
Written for dVerse, The Sunday Muse, and Twiglets and retroactively for dVerse (cheers!)
Yup, been there…
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“Noah” was a long-time family friend, so this all went down in front of my parents, sibling, and people I’ve known forever. Not one of my finer moments….
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Not good. One year at my Swedish class Christmas party, I barfed all over the place at the department head’s house, but at least those people were all pretty much strangers. I still got an A; there were no marks deducted for drunken stupidity.
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Apparently, you only get marks off for stupidity within the graded classroom setting.
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😁
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A ha. You subtle so-and-so, you. We can never tell at the beginning how it will all turn out, even though we enter with high hopes. However, I some of the happy feeling from the beginning of the poem still survives through to the end. Everything doesn’t have to be pretty if it succeeds in the end.
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Very good point. “Noah” and “Hannah” are still happily married and life and in spite of being a huge pessimist, I have to admit that life has been pretty good thus far
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Strong stuff, in every way…
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Thanks!
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Yup JYP, drinking left me long ago, but I do remember driving the porceline bus… 🙂
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I’d love to tell you this was the last time I took up bus driving, but that would be false.
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That is one sad poem “clutching the toilet like a steering wheel” Oh the woe of it all.
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It was awful. And also awful to miss out on such a fun wedding due to my own deeply poor judgment.
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Truly awful indeed. I don’t drink often and I’ve never drank enough alcohol to need to take hold of the porcelain steering wheel, but I can image it would be an experience you wouldn’t want to repeat.
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You’re not missing anything. Generally speaking, gripping the porcelain steering wheel does not lead you to any destination you want to go.
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That’s for sure.
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heh, praying at the porcelain altar, yep. been there… more than i can remember (and i can not-remember a lot) very well said
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This isn’t my only incident of porcelain altar worship, but it is one of the more memorable ones. Thanks for sharing
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A really interesting memory and setting! Those memories never leave!
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And somehow, the humiliating memories stick around way too long!
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Ha ha… yes that seems to be true!
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Nice…”the sour shadow of the tides about to change”
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My favorite line too!
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Very impressive — three prompts with one piece! And so well written. From celebratory joy to nauseating regret. The image of gripping the toilet seat like a steering wheel is powerful. Well done!
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Thank you – I really liked that image too. It was an unfortunate experience
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The celebratory aura of wine can often leave a bitter taste!
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Too much celebration can definitely turn to bitter regret
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Many years ago it was cider that disagreed with me. welll written
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Thank you, and also thank you for sharing. I see I am not the only one who had this miserable experience.
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I guess it all changes very quickly… You do have your way of making poetry interesting with those unexpected little twists! Well described, my friend. Gives even the inexperienced an idea 😉
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Thank you! I love throwing a twist into a poem.
As an older person who has done many stupid things, I will give you some unsolicited advice: Media, society, etc. seem to glorify experience of any kind, but there are a lot of experiences that really aren’t worth having. You do not need to drink yourself stupid in order to produce good writing.
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Been there, done that. It’s the context that makes this poem, I think.
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This incident was neither my first nor my last time, although it was one of the more memorable
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Vivid images and the sense of a knowledge that makes you feel uncomfortable if you have gone through similar experience!
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I feel comforted in my embarrassment reading comments from others who found this relatable, but I also feel sympathy nausea and hangover for all those who have had a similar experience.
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In the US, do you have the expression “driving the porcelain bus?”. Sounds like an awful end (for you) to a happy occasion.
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It was. And it was so unfortunate because it was such an awesome wedding. I ruined my own chance of having a good time with my poor judgment
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How about whiskey? 😀
Ya know, the first time I got really, really drunk was on Tequila – and I still don’t like the taste of it… although… I can finally drink it again (three decades later).
❤
David
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oh man, my tequila story was even worse, and I still can’t drink tequila!
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another poem? 😉
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I would, but I don’t remember enough of it! This incident (which took place in front of my entire family and many people I’ve known my whole life – “Noah” was a family friend) was sufficiently embarrassing that it is too hard to forget!
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heehee
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Wait, three decades later?! You started young!
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I’m almost 42
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hmn. you’re right.
more like ~2.5 decades.
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I too remember such times – an evocative write, half fun with that little twist of citrus at the end
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Gotta have some citrus for contrast
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Well, that went south quickly. 🙂
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It did. Unfortunate, because it had been a really fun wedding and I ended up missing out on it
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I doubt there are many who haven’t done the same. Live and learn, but more importantly, live.
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“Live and learn, but more importantly, live.” – Interesting. I like this idea. Do you think the living is really more important than the learning?
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At my age, and in the midst of a pandemic, absolutely.
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I hear that. I also reached a point during the pandemic of like, well, this is life and I’m going to start living. I’ll wear a mask, get tested, and I got vaccinated, sure, but it also didn’t stop me from air travel, family events, and weddings
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Loved this, and the sudden turn caught me by surprise.
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Thanks! I enjoy putting twists and turns in poetry
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This can happen to anyone. But the after feeling is terrible. Equivalent to slow dying but knowing you’ll live. 🙂
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Oh that is a good way of describing it
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” I was clutching the toilet like a steering wheel”… Have been there many times back in the day. Cider is that drink that brings back those memories *she shudders! We’ve all done it… Nice descriptive piece!
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It is definitely a common, if unfortunate experience
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Decades ago, I learned the hard way, gin and I were never going to be friends! You tell the woes of overindulgence quite well.
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Thank you! Totally understand that feeling. I’m not a gin fan either
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I don’t drink, so I don’t quite know what that’s like. But I know the feeling of the tides changing.
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Exactly – the sand and stability slipping out from under you
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I am so sorry it took me so long to get here, but I am now….LOL I think many of us can relate to your poem for sure! Much celebrating that turns to hugging of the porcelain toilet. So glad you joined us at the Muse!
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Don’t apologize – I wrote this poem well after Sunday! Thank you, and thank you for the inspiration!
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Clutching the toilet like a steering wheel…sounds intense!Makes me shudder at the thought of drinking wine now..😶. But nicely penned! 🙂
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I do still drink wine, although I am not a big wine drinker now. I was actually just drinking wine at the business dinner recently after having written this poem, and it was a little jarring! Thank you!
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Ohh well,to each,their own!
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This is beautifully deep and poignant. I especially like; “the sour shadow of the tides about to change.” 🙂
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That was my favorite line too! thanks!
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I love the irony, humor, and candor in your poem. I also really like to drink wine. No teetotaler religion for me, thank you very much.
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Thanks! Yeah, I kinda guess from your avatar that you were a fan of wine….
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Not very subtle is it? LOL.
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LOL!
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I’ve been thefre, carried away by wine, sometimes to sublime places, other times ,,,, 😦
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Yeah, it’s easy to overdo and go somewhere less than sublime, shall we say…
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indeed 🙂
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“….. clutching the toilet like a steering wheel” is about the most pertinent description of pissed and chundering into the thunder box I have come across. It made me heave with regurgitated memories of events that will remain forever hazy in the blur of alcohol induced altered consciousness.
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Thank you for your feedback on my description, although I must say, “it made me heave with regurgitated memories” does not sound like a good thing!
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Sadly because covid I cant do my hobby 😦
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Even joy has its shadow …
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That’s like the pessimist’s version of “every cloud has a silver lining”. I’m a pessimist, so I’m much more with you on “every joy has its shadow” vs. “every cloud has a silver lining”, which I think is overrated (https://jewishyoungprofessional.wordpress.com/2021/07/27/expectations/)
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Great line here… “clutching the toilet like a steering wheel.” Don’t wanna do that again.
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Yeah, I’ve had to drive that wheel before and I do not recommend!
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Wine’s never been my thing either. Maybe it was a good thing it happened?
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It would be a good thing if I actually learned from my mistakes. But seeing as I was stupid enough to go out Tuesday night and spend yesterday hungover on the porcelain steering wheel again…
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Never happened with me, but it is relatable for sure. But the ‘sour shadow’ does linger.
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I am glad you found this relatable without having to have experienced the physical effects yourself! I do not wish that upon anyone!
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I agree, I too wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.
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This is incredibly evocative! I especially resonate with; “the sour shadow of the tides about to change,” though in a completely different way.. ❤❤❤
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I really liked that line too!
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That type of drunkenness I have experienced in University… we used to call it driving the bus
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I experienced it in university. And post-university. And last Tuesday night. (I’m not very good at learning from my own mistakes…)
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Ah yes….only once have I experienced getting sick on wine. No fun. Not only is that nauseating feeling horrible, or the upchucking…it’s the being out of control that I didn’t like. Never again….and that was probably fifty-some years ago! I enjoy wine now….drink it slowly with my evening meal. For me, wine is to be savored. Guess I learned my lesson! 🙂
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You are spot-on about the out-of-control sensation!
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