Winter vacation in Vegas, I saw a blonde woman
wearing a burgundy velvet fur-trimmed Mrs. Clause outfit
crooning “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas” outside,
cacti draped in Christmas lights, tinsel necklaces,
and fluffy cotton “snow” while the crowd watched
in shorts and sandals, for it was 72 degrees and sunny.
It dawned on me how funny it is, the way
we haul heavy vines of tradition and graft them
in new climates to grow strange plants.
***
Written for dVerse
Jewish Young Professional 
LOL That’s Christmas in Australia. You have seen the insanity.
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Haha! Yeah, the Northern hemisphere winter season traditions associated with Christmas (from what I gather – I don’t personally celebrate Christmas) seem like they don’t translate as well to the Southern hemisphere.
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I’ve always thought how strange it would be to move to the southern hemisphere and do Christmas in the summer.
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Yeah, there’s so much Northern hemisphere winter seasonality associated with Christmas.
The only time I was in the Southern hemisphere was in Brazil in July one year, so “winter” there, but it was in the 60s Fahrenheit, so pretty mild and not very winter-like.
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Look, Santa, you can’t put down “five large on Blitzen in the 5th.” You want OTB, try the next door.
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Ha!
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Loved this even as it made me laugh reminding me of Christmas in south India. The incongruity of climate and custom just doesn’t seem to faze!
pax,
dora
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Yeah, it is funny when the traditions don’t match the reality!
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Dream on. We get a white Christmas once in a blue moon, actually much less often, in the southwest. It’s freezing cold, dry and brown most Christmas days out here. I’ve never liked that song.
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I went to Arizona on the same trip and it was in the 80s and gorgeous. We were swimming in the pool while everyone back home was shoveling snow after a blizzard. Better weather during the Arizona segment than Vegas, but Vegas makes for a better poem.
I also don’t like that song.
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I remember visiting friends in Yuma, Arizona in January. We were swimming in their pool and they thought we were crazy to be swimming in the middle of winter. It was like 85º. Yuma is near sea level. We came from 5000 feet and freezing temperatures. 85º is our spring, summer, and fall temperatures.
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Well, I’d rather swim in the 85℉ January of Arizona than go walking in the 100℉ August of Arizona. I’ve done both; the former was glorious and the latter was a mistake.
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Only 100ºF? it gets up to 115ºF+ pretty easily. We get well over 100 in the summertime, but the dryness makes it fairly tolerable. We were in Ravenna, Italy with 104ºF temps and 98% humidity. That was truly miserable.
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I was using an average. Actually, I had gone out around 6 AM when it was only 94 or something (I thought I was being so smart getting out early…) and by the time I was done walking/hiking, it was like 110℉. Then I spent the rest of the day dehydration vomiting. Not one of my better moments.
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That sound more like a summer temps in Arizona. Yep. If you are not used to heat and dry, you get dehydrated really easily. That would not be a good time.
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I like how you travelled to the metaphor of vines and grafting through a funny vignette 🙂
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Thanks! Yeah, taking traditions to new circumstances can be an interesting bit of botany, you know 🙂
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Not quite my taste lol
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I can’t tell if you mean that you don’t like the poem or if Christmas in Vegas doesn’t do it for you. If the former, that’s fine, I’m not offended. If the latter, I found Christmas in Vegas odd and I don’t even celebrate Christmas, so I can definitely understand that
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Lol no, I mean the Vegas style Christmas 😅
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Kind of like ultra-Orthodox Jews in Israel.
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Yeah. That ultra-Orthodox dress code alone grafted onto Israeli climate is something else.
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right?
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I remember Christmases in San Bernardino, California. The decorations did seem quite ironic there, too.
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Yep. Not all traditions make sense in all circumstances
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Wow… you summed it up brilliantly with “we haul heavy vines of tradition and graft them in new climate”
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Thanks! Yeah old traditions in new places leads to interesting hybrids
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That’s adaptation. No way forward without it. Wise words with a festive twist. 🙂
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Great point! Tradition must adapt to remain universally relevant!
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I love it! These are mutations of the Holidays for sure! Well done.
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Yeah, it is funny what you get when you transplant traditions somewhere else. Thanks!
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I guess in Florida and Australia it is quite different as well!
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This is pure delight! Having recently returned from three days in Las Vegas … I have to concur how strange “The Grafts” !!!
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Awesome! How was your trip? I haven’t been to Vegas in ages! Probably not since that winter vacation that inspired this poem
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It does sound bizarre: I can’t imagine a warm Christmas!
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Las Vegas is generally a rather strange place. Christmas in Las Vegas added another element of strange, and I don’t even celebrate Christmas.
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I would like to see it once I think!
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The craziest Christmas decorations I have ever seen were in Shenzen in southern China… I asked why, and my Chinese friend said… we like the lights and the Chinese factories are making the lights for the worlds anyway
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Fascinating!
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What would we do without traditions! We haul them with us to feel at home.
Really enjoyed this.
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Great point! The vines connect in both directions. Those strange hybrid plants are how we can remain connected to tradition, past, and history.
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Indeed.
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😂 The imagery in this piece has me grinning as I feel like I am the narrator experiencing this odd adaption that still manages to be so out of place!
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Thanks! It’s those adaptations on tradition that make the whole thing unique. But certainly seeing the Vegas take on that Christmas imagery was very interesting!
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lol sounds like where I am in Florida. Sometimes, people decorate their palm trees 😉
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Makes sense. I mean, those are the trees, so might as well! I like hearing about quirky regional traditions
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[…] Husband: Yeah. I liked your post about Impossible Pork. And that poem about looking for God. And the one about traditions that don’t make any sense. […]
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