Thanksgiving summit, but I see not my grandparents in sepia memories, nor my family, lively and animated with wine and spirited discussion, but the hazy etherness of future ghosts - like climbing a mountain, knowing that someday it will peak and plunge. I grieve for loss not yet realized. I recall my biologist friend who’d watch the unknowing rats dance etherized across the lab bench before killing them, and I wonder who among us is seeing clearly.
***
Jewish Young Professional 
Yes, none of this is ‘cute’. All is good!
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Thank you for the feedback! I could turn this comment section into a vote on whether or not to keep the etherized rats. I think “cute” is kind of the wrong word; “thought-provoking” or “fascinating counter-point” is more apt. I really appreciate the feedback; this is one of the rougher drafts I’ve posted to my blog.
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You’re welcome 🙂
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They must have been well trained! 😉
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Touché!
I might have to take out the rats. I’ve been wanted to write a poem ever since my biologist friend told me about her experience euthanizing the rats (which was a long time ago). Previous drafts haven’t worked. I’m not convinced this one is working either, but I wanted to post something while I had the idea in my head.
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I thought it was kinda cute, actually
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Thanks! I’d thought so too, which is why I put the rats in this poem in the first place.
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The last line is truly amazing. I think it puts the rats into perspective. But my reaction had no trace of thinking it was cute so I’m not sure I’m in the same mindset.
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Thank you for the feedback! So glad that the last line is connecting the poem together. I should start a poll – yay or nay vote on the rats. “Cute” is kind of the wrong word, I think, as the rats get euthanized so shortly after their appearance here. It’s more that the rats are potentially “thought-provoking” or “intriguing” or even “sobering”. This is one of my rougher drafts, so I especially appreciate the feedback!
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I wonder if the rats’ ghosts are busily haunting the biologist.
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So interestingly, the biologist/rats reference is based on a true conversation that was much longer, in which I did sense the biologist felt a sense of haunting regret over the lab rats in her experiments. This conversation happened well over ten years ago, and I’ve been trying to write a different poem about it ever since, but previous attempts haven’t quite worked.
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Perhaps the verse could be from the rat’s POV.
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Now that would be an interesting poem!
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Yeah, I’m not seeing the “cute” either. But I like your use of the prompt’s word, and the sort of double-walking through the family dinner.
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“Double-walking through the family dinner” – yes, this is what I was hoping to capture. Glad this is coming through.
Re: “cute” I could have phrased this better. It’s more thinking that the rats were potentially thought-provoking or intriguing. Another, more interesting image besides the peaking mountain and inevitable long descent, assuming it works.
I really appreciate your feedback. This is one of the rougher drafts I’ve posted on my blog, so the feedback is especially helpful.
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This was a punch in the gut for me.
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I’m going to take that as a compliment. I love when a poem delivers a gut-punch. (sorry-not-sorry?) Thank you!
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Truly, it was wonderful.
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I liked the–very compelling–idea of this. The rats fit in with it nicely, but maybe the allegory came along too abruptly? But only a little. Anyway, save this and read it when you’re 70. It will make perfect sense!
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Thank you! Really appreciate the feedback. And thank you also for assigning me some reading for 34 years from now. Holy shit, I just realized I’m more than halfway to 70. WTF. How the hell did that happen?!?!
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Crap! I’m twice your age!!
Yeah, it sneaks up on ya.
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Great poem, love the last stanza! Like a butting heads of science and spirituality. Good one, JYP 🙂
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I remember thinking about that science and spirituality tension when Biologist Friend first told me about euthanizing the rats in her experiments, and I’ve been trying to write a poem about it for a while. Thank you!
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You’re welcome 🙂
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Another fantastic, philosophical poem. I’m not sure anyone can see clearly these days.
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Good point – our lenses are all a bit distorted. Thanks!
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Especially these days. Whichever lens you choose to look through you will find opposition to it on the other end.
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And all the lenses are polarized so you only have to see the light you want without glare.
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Everything is so polarized.
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I say keep the rats: they fit with your theme of everything hanging in the ether!
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Good point. Another yay vote for the rats!
I’m pleased it is working. I’ve been wanting to write about those etherized rats for a long time!
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This is incredibly hard-hitting and evocative!
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Thanks!
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I love this, how we see death in every living thing is actually something we should do more often, after all the end will come to everyone… the comparison to the lab rats is jarring, but it is even more true when you are the one holding the hatchet.
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Exactly – death is the inevitable ending for all living beings.
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So sobering and I agree with Bjorn, it feels jarring with the rats, but I like how it’s thrown out there in a way that’s dissociative yet continuous. It’s such a good glimpse of the human race and seeing ourselves through a lens of distance; how it flows together, it is wonderful. I feel an emotional distance yet an overload at recognizing that we all return to the same fate. Everyone is a future ghost (I LOVE that phrase you used), and it can be a world of grief to realize that, while also trying to cherish the moments we all have left day to day. Beautifully written. I’m going to come back to this for a re-read and perhaps plenty more of them, it’s just that good.
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Wow, thank you for this feedback. There is this odd tension between trying to live in the moment and appreciate life while also recognizing we’re all future ghosts because we’re all going to die. And thank you so much for your feedback – reading that this poem is re-read worthy means so much. 🥰
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“I grieve for loss not yet realized” Yes, I know exactly what this feels like. You captured something hard to express. Thank you for sharing.
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Thank you! So glad to hear that this line resonated. I definitely get this feeling
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ouch! that last stanza burns —
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It is an unhappy ending for the lab rats…
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I reckon there are more future ghosts than ever and we can see them more clearly each day. They are much scarier than our ancestral ghosts who have gone to rest in peace. You have captured their spirit here for us to know.
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I think you’re right that the future ghosts are scarier than the ancestral ghosts. I can accept the past, but the future often has me waiting for that other shoe to drop. Thank you.
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[…] I have a favorite genre. ~90% of the writing I do is complaining on my blog, sometimes in brutally honest and/or poetic ways. Here is a list of the media in which I […]
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What a powerful last line! Very poignant poem.
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Thank you!
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A thought provoking poem! As a researcher (retired but still working) I understand the rat experience. The thing is that once unconscious there is no perception of pain. Which begs the question, how many people are going through life unconscious by choice or through ignorance?
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Years ago, I had a conversation with a coworker who had been a biologist and told me about euthanizing the rats in that context. I found it such an intriguing, interesting detail and I’ve been trying to work it into a poem ever since (this post being more successful than previous off-blog attempts).
“How many people are going through life unconscious by choice or through ignorance?” – This is indeed, a very good, thought-provoking question. What do you think?
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Hi, JYP!
This week’s W3 prompt, hosted by Sarah David, is now live 🧡
Much love,
David
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