The sonnet you left on my Facebook wall left my normally garrulous roommate speechless. “He’s on the spectrum”, she sputtered finally. A warning that I should view your syllables like shifty-eyed suspects. But you and I traded haiku like kisses, which we also traded awkwardly on a dorm room bed frame, carving words into the hollows of our throats like initials in a willow tree with our tongues. Afterwards, we drank microwaved tea. Of course it ended. It’s absurd to think a poem is a bedrock; everything on poetic ground teeters and crashes. Still, some days, I wish I’d stopped balancing practically on the diving board and let myself fall.

***
Written for dVerse, WOTDC (garrulous), WOTDC (crash), and MLMM Photo Challenge and retroactively for dVerse (kiss)
Oh that is really good. Yes, life is a bit like that!
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Yeah, the chances you take / don’t take and all the what ifs.
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Amazing poem. Fantastic allegory.
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Thanks!
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Dang, that’s good!! ❤
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Thanks!
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poems are meant to leave a frisson: and this one does; the last stanza slams it home — and that line to puncture our pomposity when we get ‘up ourselves’: ‘everything on poetic ground teeters’
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Thanks!! It took me some time to figure out that “everything on poetic ground teeters” but I really like it.
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Ooh wonderful! Trading haiku like kisses… Really digging this one 🙂
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I’ll let you in on a secret: the trading haiku was actually an aspect of a different failed relationship, not the one with the character here.
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I also mashup relationships for poetic purposes. Generally one person isn’t interesting enough for a whole piece…
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Imagine getting a breakup text:
“Sorry baby, I really care about you, but you’re just not poetic enough for me and I need to date some other loser to improve my writing.”
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How did you find my old text? 😂😂😂
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I received the same text. Damn those unemployed wannabe poet-entrepreneur types sending the same breakup texts! 😂
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Fabulous. So thought provoking and also poetic
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Thank you 🥰
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*applause*
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Thanks!
I’m actually waiting for the comment of “What do you mean? Of course a poem is a bedrock!” But I guess even poets think practically sometimes.
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OK. this is one of those poems that I wish I’d written. It’s just gorgeous – the start in something concrete, the move into that high board metaphor, the haiku kisses in between. It’s a fantastic poem.
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Thanks! I’m amused by the idea of a Facebook sonnet as concrete, but it’s true. Thank you for the prompt inspiration that got me turning this true story into a poem
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The image made a lovely subtle addition to your beautiful words. Lovely!
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I can’t take credit for the photo. It came from the MLMM photo challenge prompt. But I thought it was a great image
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Love the mixed imagery in this poem. Never read anything like it.
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Thank you so much for this. I am thrilled that I managed to take the arguably clichéd story (doesn’t everyone have one of these?) of “what could have been” and turn it into something original.
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Mission accomplished.
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😊
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This is so good–all those wonderful, original images leading to that I wonder sort of reflection.
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Thanks! True story. I feel like everyone has a story like this; I’m glad I was able to turn it into a more original retelling.
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You’re welcome!
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I like your poem about loves rocking and stumbling! The diving board can be real scary at times! Well done.
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The diving board is scary, but at least it’s still a solid ground of sorts. Poetic ground is even more unstable, and jumping into the water is even scarier!
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You are right! Life is always that way!
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OMG this is gorgeous.
Much❤love
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“carving words into the hollows of our throats
like initials in a willow tree with our tongues” is evocative and a perfectly apt way to describe those who fall in love over poetry. I tried it once, when I was certainly old enough to know better. All the words became an avalanche of regret because I wrote only what was true and he was unwittingly not writing poetry at all but his fantasy novel. Turns out he wanted to be a rogue.
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That’s rough when you’re trying to write your true feelings and your love interest is spinning fairy tales and fantastical lies…
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Do we let ourselves fall, or does gravity do the work for us? Perhaps there just wasn’t enough force at work with this particular poet!
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I have to admit that the reason the romance with this poet failed was not because he wasn’t poetic enough or because poetry is not a foundation, but because I was dating someone else at the time. *facepalm* Couldn’t really incorporate that into the poem though…
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This is absolutely, poetically gorgeous! We all have failed relationships but this is such an original take. Love it. ❤️
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Thank you! It’s a true story all right, but the challenge is to take a not especially novel experience (who hasn’t had a failed relationship like this?) and tell in in an original way. I’m happy that you enjoyed.
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In just a few lines you express you so much! I especially love the lines, “Still, some days, I wish
I’d stopped balancing practically
on the diving board and let myself fall”
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Thanks! This one is based on a true story. I do regret that we didn’t have the chance to have a proper romantic relationship. [Full disclosure: I was dating someone else (which also ended) not mentioned in this poem at the time…] It would have ended, but it would have been nice while it lasted.
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Ah the wonders of those days.
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[…] so, you might as well savor the short-lived relief of small exhilarations to bandage the cracks – jump on the diving board and let yourself fall – you have nothing else to hold on to. Let what sings like angels when you read it linger on your […]
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Your poem made me smile! I love the sonnet left on the Facebook wall and the trading of haiku and kisses, and the lines:
‘carving words into the hollows of our throats
like initials in a willow tree with our tongues’
and
’… Still, some days, I wish
I’d stopped balancing practically
on the diving board and let myself fall.’
I’ve often felt that way too.
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It’s so hard not to imagine what could have been, you know? Thank you and thanks for hosting the prompt
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I love the way you fail to balance romance with practical things… sounds so much like real life.
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It is hard to balance romance and real life practicality. They’re opposites almost by definition
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This is absolutely stellar writing here 🙂 I especially like; “like initials in a willow tree with our tongues.” 💙💙
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I liked that line too, thanks!
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Love this one specially with trading haiku like kisses.
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I must admit that detail is not 100% true. This guy didn’t write haiku. (Although I later ended up in a relationship and literal haiku exchange with another guy…)
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“carving words into the hollows of our throats
like initials in a willow tree with our tongues.
Afterwards, we drank microwaved tea.”
🙌 pretty romantic stuff! 🔥
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It was pretty romantic at the time. Thanks!
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💓
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Wow. Every word.
–Shay
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Thank you!
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Ah! That ending. Well, next time she will be all in 😊. Well done.
Pat
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Glad you liked the ending. Perhaps, though I think in general, it’s hard to let the romantic side be the bedrock upon which everything must precariously balance
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THIS: ” you and I traded haiku
like kisses ” WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT!
Really SWEET poem! <<3
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Flattered and honored by this high praise! I know I’ve felt similarly when I read a line like that in another poet’s work. I’m touched 🥰
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traded haiku like kisses. That is lovely. And a wonderful sonnet at that. BeaUTIful xoxoxo
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I must admit the haiku exchange was a detail that happened in a different relationship and I borrowed it and attributed to this one. But I think it works in this poem. Glad to hear this resonated.
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It works. Blessings.
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Blessings to you too!!
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Amid some delightfully un-poetic particulars of the emotion — haiku on Facebook walls, the roommate’s dour assessment, sipping tea that’s been microwaved — wilder contraries are a play when kissing — bedrock emotion (I assume that’s the heart deepest where it yearns and becomes) amid rocking precarious bedposts, the nature of restraint which might protect and yet so prevents what kisses could unfold. Well done.
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Thanks! It was a college relationship, with all the un-poetic things that that entails.
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“But you and I traded haiku
like kisses,…”
Oh such a brilliant line in a fantastic poem! Bravo!
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Haiku exchange actually happened in a different relationship (that also ended) – this guy was more of a free-verse guy. But I felt a neat connection between haiku and kisses, so I decided to take some poetic liberty. I’m so glad you enjoyed!
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I love the light irony in the tone of this one, a poem that doesn’t take itself seriously. I’d say trading poems is a phase best grown out of.
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LOL!! I hear ya. All my past relationships that involved the exchange of poetry also had significant problems and it was ultimately a very good thing that they ended.
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There’s no future in poetry. Look at Wordsworth, Shelley, Byron. All dead.
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Can’t argue with that…🤣
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