In Case You Need Some Comic Relief

In case you’re stressed out with taxes, Passover, mass shootings, war in Ukraine, and the news that WordPress is getting rid of its paid plans for personal bloggers, I’m posting another music collaboration I did with Timothy Price for some comic relief.

This is a video of a parody of “Slow Hands” by Niall Horan titled “No Pants”.

I originally wrote these parody lyrics early in the pandemic when working from home was still novel. Later, I started blogging, met the incredibly talented Tim Price, and Tim encouraged me to record the vocals, and then he put together the instrumentals and this awesome and hilarious video starring Princess Jasmine Barbie® as an homage to our last music collaboration in which I played Princess Jasmine. I will note here that I look absolutely nothing like Princess Jasmine Barbie.

This video features Barbie nudity. There is no human nudity in this video.

Here are the lyrics for the Barbie nudity sensitive readers:

No Pants
parody lyrics by JYP

Doing all my work at my place
Cause I can’t go to the office space
So I work from bed
Yeah, I work from bed
I’m on conference calls all-day
Laptop camera pointed at my face
But I’m stuck at home
And I’m all alone, so

No pants
When you’ll see my face and not my body
No, no chance
That I’m going to bother doing laundry
Can’t go
Coronavirus has been stoppin’
All plans, so I’m wearin’
No pants
No pants

I can’t exercise in quarantine
Been puttin’ on the COVID-15
Now my belt won’t close
Can’t go buy new clothes, so

No pants
When you’ll see my face and not my body
No, no chance
that I’m going to bother doing laundry
I know
Coronavirus has been stoppin’
All plans, so I’m wearin’
No pants

Buttoned up to my collarbone
Looking so professional
it’s what I wear when I work from home
Work from home, work from home
Buttoned up to my collarbone
Just don’t ask what’s down below

No pants
When you’ll see my face and not my body
No pants
Cause what’s the point of doing laundry
I know
Coronavirus has been stoppin’
All plans, so I’m wearin’
When you’ll see my face and not my body
No pants
Cause what’s the point of doing laundry
I know
Coronavirus has been stoppin’
All plans, so I’m wearin’
No pants
No pants
No pants
This was one of the less weird and still appropriate stock photo search results for “No Pants” Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

Note: I am not disclosing whether these lyrics are inspired by real life experience.

Enjoy!

JYP, aka “Princess J” (Thanks equips!)

48 comments

  1. Very clever lyrics! Parodies are revealing, sometime, and mostly fun. I read Tim’s post, and commented. In my debut book, Three Years of Her Life, the main character deals with bigotry in 1960, many in her family hate Jews. She,a nurse, falls in love with a Jewish doctor, and the story takes wild twists & turns. Looking forward to reading more in your blog. 📚🎶 Christine

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m happy you got to make your wonderful lyrics into a parody. I hadn’t thought about if you were inspired by real life. When I write parodies, there is often a real life inspiration, but there are times I just think of the most bizarre things and put them together. When I read your lyrics I thought about a series of Dilbert cartoons on telecommuting from years ago.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’m with you in that 1) with poetry and fiction generally, I never assume it’s autobiographical or that the narrator is the author and 2) with parodies specifically, they work far better if you’re writing about something widely known and general vs. something specific to you*. But I find on WP, a lot of people assume the opposite re: #1, so I figured I’d clear that point up.

      *The exception being if you’re writing a parody for a particular audience only and that audience all has the same context. Like in karaoke league when it was parody week, I did parody lyrics that were super-specific to that karaoke league. They were well-received, but would have made no sense if shared to a wider audience.

      Dilbert is great.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I notice humor is often taken seriously on WP, also. On my Wormhole fiction, El is me, because I don’t really know how to make it work otherwise. I’m not very good when it comes to fiction. So many stories that will never see the light of cyberspace.

        Like

        • I think part of it is that when you are reading the blogs of strangers, you have no context. That said, I was taught in my writing classes to never ever assume that the narrator is the author in fiction or poetry.

          I’ll have to check out your next installment! I find fiction hard – less because of autobiographical elements (my life is boring, so it isn’t worth trying to write fiction based on it) and more because of important things like creating a plot. I suspected “El” might be somewhat autobiographical, but again, I never assume.

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Much appreciated humour! And…. Wtf WordPress seriously? I just closed down my self hosted WordPress and transferred it here for the easier community interaction etc. bought the personal plan for a year. I still get emails reminding me to choose my free domain name that came with the plan. Pretty soon they’ll be telling all us personal bloggers to just go over to tumblr , maybe that’s why they bought it. Le sigh.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Absolutely. I had a lot of pics and such with my self hosted and many important memories I didn’t want to lose when I migrated to .com from .org so I opted for the paid version, though free may have been sufficient. BUT after reading this I went to my account and it allowed me to renew at the same plan for a year at the 4.00/month. Maybe those plan fees are only for new blogs? Still crappy if it’s going to dissuade folks from making WordPress their choice because I love discovering folks like yourself and interacting on a non FB platform.

        Liked by 2 people

        • Same. Facebook is awful, I lasted one day on Instagram before quitting, and Twitter doesn’t appeal to me at all. I considered Blogger, but I don’t like the platform. Honestly, I just wanted an anonymous blog. Anyway, I’m planning to stick around, and I hope WP doesn’t manage to push the community away.

          Liked by 1 person

  4. Confirmed with support that if on that plan, one may still renew for that plan, or whatever plan they are on. Just not new blogs . Still sad that some people may no longer find their way here, but I’m heartened to know that you use the free platform and find it to meet your needs. My boyfriend and I both enjoy reading your posts ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Oh man this video is fucking hilarious. The doll’s perpetually serene expression just adds to it. Singing and lyrics on point. Just really grateful it’s Jasmine and not Jeffrey Toobin.

    Like

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