The offered job in the offer letter and home in the sales contract are in different locations, but both unsigned agreements are open on my computer; I flick between the tabs.
In the world of pandemic, war, shortages, and inflation, all markets are volatile, and all predictions flawed. No one knows how to best insulate against the next storm. It’s hard to know what to value now.
The job offers the money needed to purchase the home. The home drains liquid assets but offers a desirable benefit that the current apartment does – space to (hopefully) start a family. The job’s salary makes the cost of having children (as a woman nearing 40, I no longer have the luxury of time to spend on natural methods with dwindling probability of success) more accessible but moving out of the one-bedroom rental into the house makes a home study for adoption placement feasible.
My mind yo-yos between flexibility and stability. This decision, and the narrow window in which to make it, feels precarious; should I make the wrong choice, there is less time to course-correct.
Cruising ship? Anchored oak?
Which is better to weather
this stormy steel sky?

***
Go Dog Go Cafe, W3, Twiglets. I drew inspiration from “My anchor is well cast, and my ship, though weather-beaten, will outride the storm” Samuel Hopkins, theologian from dVerse, but I found the prompt to write a deathbed poem somewhat distasteful so I’m not doing it. Still, I’ll give credit for the inspiration.
These are serious life decisions to deal with. Sending good vibes.
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Good vibes always appreciated
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I figure good vibes are better than my stupid, uninformed opinions.
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It would be nice if more people felt that way
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When you’re just sayin’ you don’t me me sayin’ much of anything. BTW Do you know this song? https://youtu.be/Eab_beh07HU.
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Nice! I wasn’t familiar with it, but I appreciate it. We could start a good vibes playlist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4C2lhVUb95U
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Good funky vibes. The effects in the Beach Boys songs were way out there at the time. It’s so easy to make those sounds today,
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Decisions decisions. Try thinking of one and see how regretful you are that you let the other go. Or sometimes you just have to go with your gut feeling
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That’s fair. It does feel like there’s so much uncertainty in the world, but gut instinct remains a good indicato.
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Indicator
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That’s quite the major fork in the road.
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I really want to write a response that plays to a forks metaphor but I got nothing right now
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Tough decision. I’m at a similar fork in the road – deciding on my future career. It’s so much harder once you have kids I’ll say that much. I wish you all the best whatever you decide 🙏
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That is true. Good luck with your decision!
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Congratulations on the job offer! Looks like a lot of things to think about… all the best.
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Thanks! It is a lot to think about. My brain feels fried
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Changes are stressful. Hugs! 💕
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It’s all good exciting stuff but yeah, it’s also a lot. Thanks
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I want to say mazal tov, but your post doesn’t sound happy…
What does husband say?
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P.S. don’t forget the W3 Mr Linky!
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Hah, I totally forgot about that. Should be linked up now
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You can say Mazal tov. It is good news.
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A lot to think about, but good news
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MAZAL TOV❣️
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Thank you!!
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I am sorry that my wife and I waited too long and never had any children, as I am certain that would have improved my life.
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I appreciate your honesty. I am sorry. That is really difficult
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That statement makes my heart hurt for you.
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Very tough choices that you’re in the midst of. Good luck!!
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Thanks you
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A bit of a Morton’s fork for you. Two big decisions in a short window of time. Congratulations on your job. I wish you good luck on your decisions. You have this.
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It is crazy. Thank you
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That is okay I adopted 2 kids, moved across country, and got married in less than 3 years.
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That is a lot
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Good luck with this decision.
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Thank you – much appreciated
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i was wondering if you were going to look for a new job (based on your recent posts) yes, a pandemic, inflation, war and threats of more war, uncertainly, fear, been there and done that so yes indeed, very important, very very. (and normally, i don’t give advise, especially when no one is asking, also, i’ve been told that i’m not a good source for such things, and i believe them, but i like you, i think you’re good people, so i’m giving it a whack, please forgive me) don’t forget happiness, that’s really important too. i didn’t read much in your post about happiness in any of the job prospects, which is the thing i think you are really looking for. good luck whatever you decide i wish you the best, and always enjoy reading
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Thank you for this. There isn’t a lot of happiness in this post – partly because I was trying to fit this into a short haibun to fit prompts (silly, but I have two other drafts started about this whole situation and I couldn’t finish them – turns out an overworked and tortured haibun is what it took to get this on my blog), but also partly because I’ve been finding it challenging to figure out what will make me happy/happier/happiest. I find that I want things that contradict each other. Even just focusing on job/career, the things I want from a job contradict each other.
Also, don’t sell yourself short. I don’t put much weight on advice from other people (I find it’s usually wrong) but you make a very good point here. I think you are probably better at advice than you think. Thank you!
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Objectively, times are never ideal. Sometimes it’s best to take a step back then discuss our concerns with a trusted confidant. Ultimately, we must trust our heart and intuition while taking risks. Best wishes to you.
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That is a good point. For pretty much all of human history, there has been some form of geopolitical and/or socioeconomic crisis of some sort. And yet, people still made life decisions. At some point, one trusts their gut and makes decisions. Thank you.
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Here’s more good vibes, so you can make the decision that is right for you.
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Good vibes much appreciated, thank you!
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If you picture yourself on your deathbed, what quickly comes to mind as something satisfying or regrettable?
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I get what you’re saying. I don’t really find this particular exercise of (hopefully) long-term thinking to be helpful, but I do get the question you’re saying and it is a valid point.
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Yeah, you’re probably right. Now that you mention it, most of my hypothetical deathbed decisions haven’t worked out all that great.
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We can’t know the future, so I always try to base big decisions on what I do know. Then, I ignore that, and listen to that voice deep down inside that knew the answer all along. Good luck, JYP.
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Interesting strategy. I feel like I have multiple internal voices that want All The Things and they are all shouting at each other making it difficult to listen.
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If only those voices would speak one at a time! My strategy is no help I fear …
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I still appreciate it!!
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Congratulations on the job offer, though it sounds like a tough decision looms. We live in a difficult time. I wish you the best of luck in your choice.
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Thank you, I appreciate it!
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agreed, the world is messed up. disagreed, that anyone should let that mess up their personal decision-making (unless directly, personally and significantly impacted). otherwise no one would ever have done a damn thing.
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This is a great point. Throughout human history, people have continued to chase dreams to the extent they could, marry, have children, and just generally go about their lives during the worst of circumstances.
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These are uncertain times, indeed. It’s becoming harder to decide between flexibility and stability. That said, we must continue to live our lives, regardless. All the best with making these difficult decisions. And oh, congrats on your new job!
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Exactly – life will never be stable and straightforward. Thank you!
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JYP, the most recent W3, hosted by Kunjal, is now live!
much love,
David
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I forgot where I learned this, and I don’t know if you’ve already made a decision, but maybe it’ll be helpful for the next decision…but here’s what I now do: visualize a fork in the road with both decision on either side. Wherever you naturally lean towards walking is what you should do 😉
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Interesting. I made a decision, but it’s been interesting to learn strategies and approaches for life decisions like this from others. Appreciated!
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Ohhhh….choices, choices. You have indeed found yourself in a quandary!
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Yeah, never a dull moment
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JYP, this week’s W3 is now live ~ we’d love to have you join in!
Much love,
David
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