The Non-Observance (?) of Judaism

Once, I was taking a train. I will note here that this story takes place in the USA. Anyway, I was on this train and I heard a man speaking Hebrew.

That, in and of itself, was not particularly strange. Even in the USA this was not totally strange. It was more remarkable that I picked up on it, although he was speaking too fast and my Hebrew listening comprehension was too terrible to understand what he said.

The man walked past me. I could now see that he was wearing a kippah. This was also, while not necessarily common (actually, this took place in an area of the USA that I don’t live in and have no idea how common it is to see kippah-wearing Jews in this area), also not particularly strange.

The strange part was that this train ride took place on Shabbat. And while I didn’t think it strange to see either kippah-wearing Jews or to see Jews violating Shabbat, it was odd to me to see the same person doing both.

Not something I expected to see on Shabbat in the USA. Photo by Levi Meir Clancy on Unsplash

Then again, I was also on this train on Shabbat.

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Another story: we recently attended a social event at a Reform synagogue in Another Location We Are Considering Moving To. The event was very nice and we met some nice people. The one thing that annoyed me slightly was that the sandwiches served were not kosher. Non-kosher meat sandwiches.

Now to be fair, this was not inconsistent with the Reform Movement’s philosophical position on halacha generally. And to be honest, I don’t keep strictly kosher outside the house. It wouldn’t have fazed me at all if they had served tuna sandwiches or cheese sandwiches that weren’t hechshered. But meat sandwiches felt like a crossed line.

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Then again, would it make sense for an institution to observe something that the people don’t? Institutions are composed of and run by people, aren’t they?

Update

I hit publish instead of save to draft while this was unfinished. Also, I’m traveling with unreliable WiFi. TBH, the main reason I wrote this post was so that people know I’m not dead, and I didn’t want to do a general update post, so instead, this was an opportunity to ruminate on some thoughts.

All or Nothing

The problem with expecting there to be a particular line is that the “line of reasonable” varies wildly person to person. It’s not like serving non-kosher cheese sandwiches would have been seen as universally accommodating either.

And sometimes, what makes one group of Jews more comfortable makes another group of Jews less comfortable. Some Jews feel most comfortable when the sexes are separated, where women don’t sing, etc. But this makes other Jews very uncomfortable. I consider myself a reasonably accommodating hostess (don’t we all) and my kitchen is kosher and I can handle a variety of dietary restrictions and allergies. But there are things I won’t accommodate. In my home I say kiddush (traditionally said by a male) and I will never ever cover my hair. I do not care how religious my guests are, I will not change these things to make them more comfortable. They can leave if they don’t like it (honestly, I don’t particularly like hosting)

Judaism shouldn’t have to be an all or nothing.

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It’s said that Judaism is more than just a religion. There’s a strong aspect of peoplehood, even without the observance of religion. For me personally, Judaism as a religion resonates much more strongly than as a connection to the people. But I am still Jewish, even when I am not keeping the commandments. Even when I am on a train on Shabbat, this is still my religion.This is still a part of my identity.

Maybe the kippah-wearing man on the train feels the same way.