Give it an epic title befitting its heavenly status. This is The Poem of The Century.
Don’t edit. Every word you have breathed, every phrase farted out of your magical ass is a fairy, voluptuous in beauty and meaning, released into the atmosphere for all to worship its timelessness.
Use airy verbose language and high-brow abstract concepts, never deigning to ground your oeuvre in earthy imagery or common tongues. Label anything unclear as symbolism. The lowly reader who doesn’t understand is a simpleton.
Do not observe. Do not think. Do not revise. Do not doubt.
And when I read your poem, through the deep caves of thought, I hear a voice that sings (badly) and it is yours, singing to and for itself, filling the air with self-serving, pointless vibrations.
***
Poets And Storytellers United, The Sunday Muse, Living Poetry, dVerse (prosery), dVerse [elements (hot air)]
Jewish Young Professional 
Ouch.
I hear you – love the air emerging here! It’s very true.
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Someone has to say it, you know? Thank you for providing some of the inspiration and for humoring my twist on the “air” element.
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Wow, well it’s nearly impossible to not write like that especially when trying to fit a poetry structure (rhyme patterns, length requirements, syllable requirements ect)
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It’s definitely an easy trap to fall into. But I think self-awareness is a good thing.
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I hope that the poem entitled “👑 Reign not SoundEagle🦅’s Flight, For I seek thy Crested Might ⚜️” that I just published a couple of hours ago has not courted or exhibited any issues that you have highlighted here.
Thank you for your advice.
Yours sincerely,
SoundEagle
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I think your use of imagery and rhyme worked well here.
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Dear “JYP”,
I am delighted by your feedback. Thank you very much. I would be very grateful if you would kindly leave a comment in my post entitled “👑 Reign not SoundEagle🦅’s Flight, For I seek thy Crested Might ⚜️” as a token of your visit at
https://soundeagle.wordpress.com/2022/08/17/reign-not-soundeagles-flight-for-i-seek-thy-crested-might/
You are very welcome to copy and paste your previous reply as part of your forthcoming comment to be submitted to the comment section of the post, to which your esteemed reply clearly pertains and also belongs. Please feel free to expand on your comment if you have additional matters to convey about the post and any salient aspects of its contents. Thank you in anticipation.
Yours sincerely,
SoundEagle
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I shall keep this alongside me as I write my next poems 🙂
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Or perhaps when revising poems. Everyone needs a bloated, bloviating rough draft every once in a while. Editing is everything.
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Float in
Random breaks
Like a wave
Crashing
Into
My heart’s
Carousel
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And the slowing, painted wooden ponies lower their heads as the music stops, and darkness falls upon the once shiny brass ring, still untouched.
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Hey I think this is working! Hmm, I’m gonna have to think of something good to continue this…
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Love it! Well played!
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so… is this an official citation, or are you letting me off with a warning?
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You, never! I think your stuff is awesome! I love your blog.
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oh i’m just playing along =) i’ve been pulled over for these kinds of infractions before, i liked this very much. this just suddenly popped into my head for some reason, so i will share it: you might be interested in reading a collection of poems called “the problem with poetry” by billy collins, he’s a rather humorous poet, a former poet laureate, etc. i have a spoken word version of it, if you can find that, that would be even better. i think you would really enjoy it.
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Billy Collins is awesome! I don’t usually love poetry written about writing poetry (the above-piece notwithstanding); it’s almost always self-centered uncreative navel-gazing, and yet Billy Collins manages to do really well. I love Workshop (https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46704/workshop) and Introduction to Poetry (https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46712/introduction-to-poetry). Appreciate the recommendation – I’ll have to check out the rest of the collection.
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can’t believe i didn’t of this first, you should read some charles bukowski, if you haven’t already, he’s got a lot of zing, venomous and hilarious, dark humor if you like sort of thing, drowning in fire burning in water was pretty good, any of his collects are good really
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Thanks for the rec – will check him out!
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self-serving, pointless vibrations… 🙂 🙂 guilty as charged, then!
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Au contraire! I love yours
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Yes sir, i will keep that in mind when writing the next poem. 🙂
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To be clear, I loved your stir fry poem. I went a bit twisted with the what not to do when crafting a poem angle. But still, this is inspiration too.
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LOL. Love your take on the prompt.
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Thanks! I had a lot of fun with this
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Oh, such profound, lovely shade!
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I think this might be one of the best compliments I’ve ever received in the comment section. Thank you!
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Simpletons Unite! I think you touched on most of the issues.
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Yeah! We need a Simpletons Unite T-shirt. Maybe the logo can be a magical ass fairy.
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simple is as simpletons be
complex meanings we can’t seize
simple is as simpletons be
oh how big words make us freeze
simple is as simpletons be
reciting poems makes us wheeze
simple is as simpletons be
we have trouble with the ABCs
simple is as simpletons be
how the deep folks like to tease
simple is as simpletons be
they say we’re dense like the trees
simple is as simpletons be
we may be dense, but at least we are free
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This is another song, right? I love it. Let’s add it to the Stupidity and Boobs album. [This is the title I’m giving our next album, which will include the parodies of your two songs which recount the epic tale of my burnt breasts (I’m writing parody lyrics to Two Stepping to Nowhere) – yes, I know I am overdue to actually record but I have not forgotten!
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Did you get a chance to listen to The Burn?
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I had no idea what you were talking about until I realized your email got stuck in spam! Will check it out!
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Good old Spam. I also did a first take on the Simpletons song. I think I’m going to redo it.
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You’re fast! Actually, I have other parody lyrics I started a while ago that fit the Stupidity theme pretty well. We might really have enough here for a full Stupidity and Boobs album. I have some recording homework.
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I just set you the Simpleton Song and lyrics.
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I just updated the album to “Stupidity and Boobs” in the meta data for The Burn and The Simpletons song.
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Love it
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Here’s six potential songs for the album so far:
The Burn (TDP)
Two Spills to Nowhere (JYP)
Simple Is As Simletons Can Be (TDP)
Another song about stupidity (JYP)
Choked on Her Garter (TDP)
All Revved Up (TDP)
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OK. Now you’ve done it. Magical fairies face-planting into the arid, post-dustbowl fields of broken literary aspirations. I hope you’re happy.
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Damn, this comment is poetic. Guilty as I feel about having created the graveyard of broken literary dreams, sometimes those magical ass fairies just need to be put in their place. They think they’re like, G-d’s gift to humanity and bringers of world peace, and I’m like, actually, you’re just a fart. Get a grip.
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Can you hear the applause from this corner?
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Faintly, but it’s kind of hard to hear because I’m in the middle of belting my own ode to self (even as no one is pretending to listen) and farting magical ass fairies. But I think I hear you in the distance. 😋
Thank you!
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Just get it out of your system then write some grown up poetry 🙂
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0h, I will keep this advice close but no promises! I am though with promises!
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Through, or “threw”,as in, threw up!
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You know, I believe all’s fair in poetry rules and advice. I’m the first to tell you that I have many strong opinions about poetry (not all of which I’ve published on the blog yet, but stay tuned), and I honestly believe that I am right and that poetry that does not follow my advice generally comes out worse. That said, I’ve read plenty of stuff that breaks my advice and I’ve been surprised and humbled by how good it is. So, you should feel no obligation to promise to follow my advice! (I’m also just an unimportant random stranger from the internet – don’t take me too seriously!)
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Thank you, that gave me a giggle.
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Thanks! I think we all need to laugh at ourselves sometimes. Sometimes, we just take ourselves way too seriously, you know?
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LOL Brilliant!
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Thanks!
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My pleasure, darling.
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This is evil. I like it! Symbolism, ah yes, or another favorite dodge, “poetic license.”
Do not edit! There is one blogger in particular who must have that advice as a sampler on the wall above their desk! Why stop at 150 lines when you could challenge your reader with a thousand?
To your excellent (mis)advice, i would only add these: use antiquated language, it makes your poem sound lofty. (“e’er and ne’er are good ones) Stick with the tried and true (i.e. “hot as fire” or “black as night”) rather than thinking up confusing new phrases. And, of course, spend time in the greeting card aisle soaking in the way those paid and published poets write, then copy their style.
Thank you for making my day with this invaluable primer!
–Shay, hack poet at large 🙂
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LOL LOL LOL.
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You’re absolutely right – how could I have forgotten about the importance of cliche (“even the most overused cliches will sound novel and profound from your poetic ass”) and antiquated language to give you poem a classic feel. Those are excellent suggestions to add! Well, I would add, but that would involve editing 😉 I aim to provide invaluable advice and humor! And I love your “hack” poetry
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also, you forget to mention in needs to be written in some kind of classical western format, i mean really, who doesn’t love “paint by number” poetry?
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ok, i’ve posted my reply.
don’t take any of this wrong way, this is all in good fun. love your poem, it’s wicked, my kind of wicked, and it bit me hard. very well written and very funny, you hit big bundles of nerves, painful and hilarious, i wouldn’t change a word of it, but i have to take a different position =)
i’ve been pulled over by the poetry police many a time, and why not, my poems are indeed very suspicious vehicles. so i am no stranger to being harassed by the “man”. so what this calls for is what the kids used to call “slam”
but only if i could match this sass for sass…
i’m just have some fun with this, hope you don’t mind, and hope you like it =)
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I love this. Cannot wait to read the sass!! Bring it on! Very fun and I love this reply. I’m checking out your sass slam later!
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Can’t believe I missed this point – yes, so true re: paint by number poetry! Well said
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I love how you nailed so many prompts with this one. Good job!
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Thanks! I always try to combine the prompts. This actually isn’t a poetry blog and I try not to post *too* much poetry here! Appreciate your providing some of the prompt inspiration for this one.
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My pleasure, Jewish Young Professional.
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LOVE this … I hear you loud & clear!!!
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Now if only the people who really need to hear this advice would hear it…
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Got a laugh from me. Everyone’s a critic sometime. Are you trying to tell us you never fart in public?
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I only fart glitter, rainbows, and fairy dust in public 😜
Thanks, glad you enjoyed!
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Good advice. I esp like the epic title one.
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Everything is marketing. Gotta put up an EPIC TITLE so everyone KNOWS how EPIC it is, right??? 😉
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Did you filch my primer, by any chance? I seem to have misplaced it and lately have trouble fathoming my own verses!
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Hehe, I aim for entertainment!
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And you do entertain for sure! Mission accomplished. 😉
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Thanks! I try
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Interesting😊🔥🔥
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Thanks!
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This is fantastic, and what a surprising use of the prompts! The prosery quotation flows well with the rest of your piece.
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Thanks! I almost never do the prosery prompts because it’s so annoying to work in a whole sentence but I was surprised by how well this worked.
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I’ve fallen into that trap. I had to laugh when reading this poem.
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We all need to laugh at ourselves sometimes. I really think that sometimes we take ourselves far too seriously
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No argument from me. Politicians may be among the worst offenders, as a category.
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So true re: politicians…
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Paragraph 3 I found particularly rich
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Glad you enjoyed!
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entertainment accomplished.. nicely done! 💖💖
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Lol, thanks!
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always! 💖💖😂😂
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Love it ! 🙂
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Thanks! I aim for humor and advice, lol!
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