3 Body Positivity Lessons from Husband, the “Virtual Fashion Designer”

Husband has a hobby as a virtual fashion designer of sorts.

Portrait of Husband (the hand, not the model sketch)? Just kidding. Husband doesn’t wear that shade of nail polish. Photo by Ron Lach : https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-person-holding-white-printer-paper-7761829/

Well, that’s not really accurate. [It would kinda be like the equivalent of Husband describing my blogging or writing activities as “JYP types some words into the internet.“] But as a non-expert in this niche hobby determined to maintain anonymity for both of us, “virtual fashion designer” is the best description I could come up with.

Anyway, I was watching Husband work on this hobby and I realized that there may be some intriguing body positivity lessons to learn from Husband’s work. Seeing as I have struggled with body image issues and I’m certainly not the only one, I thought this would be a good topic to blog about.

Husband agreed to let me write about him under two conditions:

1. That I make it clear that “virtual fashion designer” is my inaccurate description, not his.
2. That I made it clear that Husband does not make virtual porn. So please note for the record that my husband does not make porn.

Without further ado, here are some body positivity lessons from Husband, the virtual fashion designer:

1) Fix the clothes not the body

In one instance, Husband was working on a particular virtual outfit. Unfortunately, the virtual clothes did not seem to fit the virtual model. The issue at hand was that the model’s ass kept popping out of the dress.

JYP (pointing helpfully): The model’s ass is popping out of the dress.

Husband (mildly frustrated): I know. I’m fixing it.

JYP: How do you fix it? Do you erase part of the model’s ass to get it to fit in the dress?

Husband: Of course not. I fix the dress physics so that it properly contains the model’s ass.

The message of this exchange is that it’s not the body that’s the issue requiring adjustment; it’s the clothes.

Don’t blame the ass for being badass; make the clothes badass enough to fit it. Photo by Monika Kozub on Unsplash

2) There is demand for realistic body images

One might think that it the world of virtual fashion design, there would be just as much demand for unrealistic body images. And in fact, many of the virtual models that Husband virtual designs for do in fact have Barbie-like proportions – impossibly narrow virtual waist with impossibly large gravity-defying virtual boobs. That said, many people have been asking for models that have more realistic figures.

Also, not everyone wants models to be virtually naked. I mean, a lot of people do, but there’s also demand for virtual models with some decency. Husband designed an outfit that was well-received, but the client did request that the bodice cover more of the model’s midriff. Go figure. Never make assumptions about tastes and preferences.

3) There’s no substitute for the real thing

I must again state that Husband is not creating virtual porn.

That said, as a result of this hobby, images of naked women are display on the large monitor in my living room more often than one might expect of a semi-religious household in which one half of said household grew up Orthodox.

JYP: Boy, there are a lot of naked women around here!

Husband: Do you mind?

JYP: Nah. I don’t really care.

Then I paused and thought about it a bit.

JYP: I mean, I think I’d be a little insulted if you said this virtual model’s imaginary boobs are better than mine, but otherwise, I don’t really care.

Husband: Of course not! Your boobs are great!

JYP: Thank you. A woman likes to hear that sort of thing.

By the way, in case anyone was concerned, my left breast has fully recovered from my recent stupid injury.

There’s also a lot of unsexy screens like this in my living room. Virtual fashion design ain’t all just looking at imaginary naked boobies. C’mon, you didn’t really think I was going to post naked pictures on this blog. This blog is pretty NSFW, but it’s not *that* NSFW. Then again, I did just post a pic of a stock photo model’s ass above, so…Photo by Pixabay: https://www.pexels.com/photo/code-coding-computer-cyberspace-270373/

Bonus: It is possible to sexualize literally anything

This has absolutely nothing to do with body positivity nor is it a life lesson, but I found this conversation snippet too entertaining not to share. This conversation took place a while ago on a long boring car ride, the kind where you will just talk about deeply random shit just to pass the time. I was discussing the term “fucktangular“, a term I had only heard of from Ashley‘s blog and that I’ve never seen used in any other context.

JYP (musing aloud): “Fucktangular” seems like a ridiculous term. If something is a mess, call it a “clusterfuck”. “Fucktangular” sounds like you’re trying to sexualize rectangles. That’s dumb. Rectangles are polygons. They have no sexuality.

Husband, a virtual fashion designer: I made a pair of panties out of polygons.

(pause)

JYP: Congratulations. You have found a way to sexualize polygons.

Some sexy, sexy rectangles. Photo by Monstera: https://www.pexels.com/photo/red-paper-hearts-on-burlap-parts-5874699/

Happy Wednesday! May your clothes be as badass as your ass is.

Reposting this badass photo feels appropriate for Hump Day. Now I have My Humps stuck in my head…Photo by Monika Kozub on Unsplash