Questions Over Espresso And A Board Meeting

Bored in a congregational board meeting, so I figured I’d answer these “Questions Over Coffee” from Rory The Autistic Composter at Earthly Comforts during the meeting. I’m only going to answer the ones I have interesting answers for, so this isn’t a full cup of coffee, but rather a shot of espresso. Ah, metaphor.

1) What motivates you to get up every day?

My body just doesn’t feel like sleeping anymore. Idk, I’ve never really thought about it.

2) What words have always struck you as funny or odd when looked upon?

Ashley (RIP) and I had a whole comment conversation about how “dumbass” always looks like it’s spelled wrong. That didn’t stop me from writing a dumbass themed post, but I do think it’s a weird-looking word.

Board Meeting Aside:

We’re currently having a heated off-agenda debate about whether or not to open the windows. I fucking hate COVID. Among the many other tragedies of COVID, it made congregational board meetings so much worse.

I’m going to skip the next question because I don’t have anything interesting to say about it.

“3”) How many emails do you delete every week?

Not enough.

So many emails. Also, this conversation about windows and COVID risk makes me feel like banging my head against a wall. Image by Mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

“4”) Are you easily distracted, and what do you find distracts you the most?

Hahahahahaha. Yes. I actually don’t watch any new TV shows even if people tell me that I’d enjoy a certain show, because I don’t need more ways to distract myself. Hell, I can get distracted enough watching re-runs. You could put me in a prison cell and I’d still find ways to get distracted.

“5”) Have you ever had a strange unexplained encounter that left you shaken and baffled and if so, what do you think it was?

A woman at synagogue recently asked me if I was pregnant and I was truly baffled at how mind-blowingly rude people could be. Literally, this was the conversation:

Woman: So, I see you’re expecting.

JYP: No, I just got fat* during the pandemic.

*Yes, I gained weight, went up a size, and am officially overweight now, but I really don’t think that I appear “fat” to an outsider by any reasonable definition. Like if you saw me in person or in a photo, I really don’t think your first thought would be “Wow, JYP is fat!” (“JYP is unattractive/unphotogenic” maybe, but compared to the average American woman over 35, I don’t think I look fat.) I mostly used the language of “fat” so that she’d feel more ashamed of herself for touching on a deeply painful subject.

It didn’t work.

Woman (significantly larger than I am): Exactly! You were slim and now you’re not!

Then she had the gall to try to get me to volunteer for something. So yeah, I left this exchange baffled that she thought that this was in any way acceptable to say.

Oh wait, I just re-read the question and I think this was supposed to be a question about supernatural/paranormal activity, not normal human asshole behavior. At the risk of sounding like a crazy religious person, I can think of a couple moments that felt like an act of G-d (both good and bad – divine intervention and divine punishment). I don’t feel like going into detail.

Board Meeting Aside:

We’ve moved on from the windows conversation. Hallelujah!

Skipping the next question because I have nothing to say about this one either.

“6”) What do you think are the magical ingredients for writing a bestseller and do you think you could write one?

Being a celebrity. I’m not a celebrity (although not for lack of want) so probably not.

Board Meeting Aside:

Now we’re talking about our COVID policy re: vaccines, masks, etc. How many times have we had this conversation? FML.

Even these stock photo models look totally over it. Photo by Edward Jenner: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-using-her-laptop-on-video-call-4031821/

“7”) When was the last time you stayed awake all night having fun with another person, and what were you doing?

Shavuot 5771 (2011). Then-Boyfriend and I went to awesome, engaging all-night learning for Tikkun Leyl Shavuot and then closed the night going to a Jewish a capella group performance at ~4:30 AM (it was organized in honor of the holiday) and then went to bed around 5 AM. Best Shavuot experience ever.

I bet y’all were expecting some graphic NSFW TMI answer but a) I’m a lady, and more relevant b) I like it in the morning. ๐Ÿ˜‰

“8”) Would the 18-year-old you recognise the older you if you both collided on the street today? If not, why?

I don’t think my face/body looks dramatically different. (Hopefully my 18-year-old self wouldn’t be a fucking bitch and ask me if I’m pregnant…) but personality/inner self-wise, I’m completely unrecognizable from the person I once was.

“9”) What are you most looking forward to in 2023?

Absolutely nothing.

I have no reason to believe that moving/better living situation/children/any improvement in our marriage/life will happen in 2023. I have no plans to be excited about, we’re going to reach another year of marriage with nothing to show for it, and there’s no reason to believe that any socioeconomic/geopolitical situation in the world at large will improve. Fuck New Years.

I don’t believe this at all. Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

“10”) Are you more curious or are you more passionate, or are you both?

I didn’t know that “curious” and “passionate” were opposites.

“11”) Can you easily recognise your flaws, and do you think it is important?

It is more important for the other people in my life to recognize their flaws.

Board Meeting Aside:

Meeting adjourned. Hooray!

43 comments

  1. I think eighteen year old me was too caught up in his depression, loneliness and social anxiety to even look up if I bumped into him, but I understand I look much the same as I did, except that I have a lot less acne than I had back then.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Good point. I spent at least 85% of high school in a depressed sleep-walking kind of fog (for want of better description) – there’s a good chance I wouldn’t have even noticed if I bumped into my future self.

      Man, I can count the number of breakouts I had as a teenager on one hand. Now in my 30s I get acne along with crow’s feet and forehead wrinkles. Yay aging…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Many thoughts, so I’m inspired to actually do a post on these myself. However I can’t pass up this one:

    Funny Words (#2) I agree, dumbass word. I have trouble with the word maybe, which I sometime think should be spelled maby. However, I used to regularly drive past a house with a sign in the yard more or less advertising the occupant’s interest in doing side jobs pertaining to people’s yards. It said, simply:

    mowing
    plowing
    461-xxxx

    Got me every time. What I heard in my head was mau-ing plau-ing. Possibly unconsciously thinking, hey, these words are obviously meant to rhyme, and ploh-wing just doesn’t work.
    (Pa pa pa ooh mau mau)

    I might mention that I find the prospect of meeting my 18 year old self kind of frightening. I would probably recoil.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Well, I enjoyed this post. My daughter and her family came to visit with our grandchild. As vain as I am, I was miffed that someone acknowledged my husband as the grand parent and thought my daughter and I were sisters. My daughter laughed and told the woman my mom started skin care at 5 , so there’s that. My eighteen year old self would be shocked that I am way nicer than I used to be. I am still hoping that you find the house you want.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Interesting! You know, this reminds me, when I was writing one of my books, I typed “badassery” into the document to see if spell check would complain… and it freakin’ didn’t. And I was like, holy flip, badassery is a word! I’m gonna use it!! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ (It’s in the book.) HA HA HA HA!

    *******************************

    Oh no. Tell me that woman didn’t accuse you of being pregs. Ugh, I’m so sorry that happened!! Blah. I know you can lose weight! I’ve lost weight recently, FINALLY AT LONG LAST!!, because I got the freakin’ coronavirus and was sick as a dog. It feels like weight-loss “cheating” but hey, I’ll take it! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ (Who wouldn’t?)

    ********************************

    Huh, curious and passionate! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ Hmm…. Curiosity killed the cat, and passion killed the bunny rabbits? (Oh no, please tell me I didn’t just write the world’s worst joke EVER.) [Massive facepalm.]

    *********************************

    Yeah, I watch almost all reruns too. I do watch “48 Hours Mystery” but it’s the only program I follow. Then I just watch reruns (“Frasier” and “The Golden Girls” mostly) or I’ll watch my dad’s game shows when he has them on, for family time. I also hang out with him when his political programs are on, but I’m not too invested in them as he is. (And most people tell me I need to switch to the other political party. Ugh.)

    What a fun blog post!! ๐Ÿ˜€ Your sense of humor is righteous!! ๐Ÿ˜€ I know the “Harry Potter” thing didn’t work out, but you really ought to be a comedian!
    *******************************

    Oh no. Tell me that woman didn’t accuse you of being pregs. Ugh, I’m so sorry that happened!! Blah. I know you can lose weight! I’ve lost weight recently, FINALLY AT LONG LAST!!, because I got the freakin’ coronavirus and was sick as a dog. It feels like weight-loss “cheating” but hey, I’ll take it! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ (Who wouldn’t?)

    ********************************

    Huh, curious and passionate! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ Hmm…. Curiosity killed the cat, and passion killed the bunny rabbits? (Oh no, please tell me I didn’t just write the world’s worst joke EVER.) [Massive facepalm.]

    *********************************

    Yeah, I watch almost all reruns too. I do watch “48 Hours Mystery” but it’s the only program I follow. Then I just watch reruns (“Frasier” and “The Golden Girls” mostly) or I’ll watch my dad’s game shows when he has them on, for family time. I also hang out with him when his political programs are on, but I’m not too invested in them as he is. (And most people tell me I need to switch to the other political party. Ugh.)

    What a fun blog post!! ๐Ÿ˜€ Your sense of humor is righteous!! ๐Ÿ˜€ I know the “Harry Potter” thing didn’t work out, but you really ought to be a comedian!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Badassery is definitely a word! Now I’m curious about your badass book. Is it published?

      She totally did ask! What a bitch! I really thought women knew by now they weren’t supposed to ask someone if they were pregnant – is there truly any woman on the planet who would have appreciated this question?!

      Golden Girls is such a great show. Totally underrated. In contrast, the political parties are completely overrated. I won’t tell you to switch parties because I think they’re both terrible.

      Thanks! Funny enough, no one in my entire life ever told me I was funny, either in person or in writing, until I started blogging. Go figure.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah, it’s published! HA HA! It’s called Behold Her Majestic Fog!! I recall using the specific expression “bodacious badassery!” ๐Ÿ˜€ Giggle fest!!

        She seriously asked if you were pregnant? Ohhhh, burn. Yeah, I’d never do that. [Shaking my head.] That’s horrible!! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

        I agree about both political parties! Amen! Oh yeah, who doesn’t love the Golden Girls? Love, love, love.

        Oh my, you ARE funny!! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ Wow, it must come across in writing, for sure!! Keep writing!! (I don’t think I’m funny in person myself, except for that rare occasion that I get someone to pull my finger.) [Shrugs.] (Sadly, my dad refuses at this point to ever do it again.) Yeah, you’re definitely funny, and you could also put the humor into a novel!! YAY!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I think you’re a bit younger than me anyway but my age (I feel) got fast-forwarded by chemo. It shot me into menopause and, although in numbers I am not heavier than I was 3 years ago, my body is different. Flabbier. I think it’s the hormonal changes. Between that and greying hair and legs beribboned with varicose veins and the sudden need for glasses and constantly saying pardon, I really hate it, tbh. I have started (or at least am still trying to start) jogging and doing the odd stomach crunch. My SIL is a physio and she said jogging would be good for my joints after I told her of a couple of incidents where the suspension in my knees just failed to engage and I ended up on the floor. So. I hate jogging but a physio gave it the thumbs up so I am trying. And the tummy crunches are more for me to feel like I am working at it in some way. That I haven’t given up. That I might get back to the me I am more familiar with. Why am I telling you all this? No idea. Except that in a sense COVID is like Chemo. It’s a regrettable period in our lives that had many unforeseen negative affects. We’re coming out the other side now and with the immediate restrictions lifting, we have the chance to go “fcuk me! now we’ve gotta deal with it! This really sux!” So I guess I am empathising. I hope you feel empathised with. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

    Liked by 1 person

    • I might be younger than you, but I am not as young as my blogger handle, immaturity, or lack of perspective would suggest.

      Interesting connection between COVID and chemo. I feel humbled hearing about your experience. I hope the physio works out! I also hate jogging. Maybe I should try going jogging during the next congregational board meeting over Zoom. It can’t make the meeting any worse, can it? ๐ŸคฃThank you, I do feel emphasized with.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Also: I’m increasingly uncomfortable in measuring change in my life in one year increments. I think I need at least five years to see observable change. That said, I really hope E and I get married in 2023!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I cannot stand when people make stupid assumptions about others. They make an ASS out of U and Me. And then I bet they’re trying to make themself look good by roping you into some volunteer thing. Typical narcissist

    Liked by 1 person

    • It was such a dumb strategy too. Like why ask someone a question that is invasively personal at best, deeply painful and downright offensive at worse, and somehow think that’s a good way to get them to volunteer? Like, WTF!

      I wanted to tell her to fuck off, but we were in synagogue and I thought it inappropriate to start dropping F bombs in a house of worship.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Ha these are really good. I don’t delete any emails unless they’re genuine spam. I make sure they’re all marked “read” though. It gives me major agita when I see someone’s inbox has 16,742 new emails. I’m always afraid that if I delete something I’ll want it later and regret deleting it. And I’m pretty sure I’d recognize my eighteen-year-old self walking down the street. I don’t look significantly different, more tired with a couple more pounds than I’d like, but mostly the same. The pregnant thing–I think she did it on purpose because people know they’re not supposed to say that.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I was always just baffled by the wording dumbass when younger. Badass, l understood as someone above commented, but dumbass l used to think, how does someone have a dumb ass, or did they mean they had a numb ass?

    The pregnant remark made me laugh- some people’s clucking audacity pisses me off immensely. You should have just clocked her one. It’s like someone once said to me, ‘sheesh, what a letdown l thought you were going to be taller!” which confused me coming from someone l had never met who was smaller than me anyway?

    What covid hammered home to me more than the feeling was there pre-covid is that l have no tolerance for fuckwits anymore.

    I loved the honesty regarding 2023; l have no plans. It’s just another year; tomorrow is another day. They come and go.

    Honest ground-kicking answers here. It was nicely done.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It is funny the things we think about language.

      I wanted to tell her to fuck off, but we were in a house of worship and it seemed disrespectful. That said, if I should run into this woman in the supermarket or something, I’m going to let her have a piece of my mind. I neither forgive nor forget…

      Yeah, I think loss of patience is a recurring theme for the pandemic era. Fuckwits – great word! I’m going to use this more often!

      I mean, it would be nice to have something to look forward to in 2023. But I got nothing and I don’t have it in me to fake a positive outlook that I don’t have.

      Do you ever answer your questions yourself? I can’t recall if I saw your answers to this question set.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Surprised COVID discussions are still a major point of discussion at this point!

    Also, I know someone who like to be rude like the lady you mentioned on a regular basis, but that’s his way of banter. I always smile when people who’ve never met him before take huge offense and I’m like, yeah, he’s a genuinely nice guy and never means what he says, but not everyone’s cup of tea.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think you need to have the context and relationship for that kind of banter. Like if I were out clothes shopping with my brutally honest best friend, and I tried on something unflattering and she said “JYP, that dress makes you look pregnant!” I wouldn’t be so upset. But this was a woman that barely knew me. If I were pregnant, she wouldn’t be anywhere close to the list of people who’d find out first. And she wasn’t trying to be funny. There was just no excuse for her.

      Yeah, I don’t know why COVID is still a topic. The CDC barely cares at this point and this congregation is still stuck in the March 2020 mindset

      Liked by 1 person

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