Questions Over Espresso And A Board Meeting

Bored in a congregational board meeting, so I figured I’d answer these “Questions Over Coffee” from Rory The Autistic Composter at Earthly Comforts during the meeting. I’m only going to answer the ones I have interesting answers for, so this isn’t a full cup of coffee, but rather a shot of espresso. Ah, metaphor.

1) What motivates you to get up every day?

My body just doesn’t feel like sleeping anymore. Idk, I’ve never really thought about it.

2) What words have always struck you as funny or odd when looked upon?

Ashley (RIP) and I had a whole comment conversation about how “dumbass” always looks like it’s spelled wrong. That didn’t stop me from writing a dumbass themed post, but I do think it’s a weird-looking word.

Board Meeting Aside:

We’re currently having a heated off-agenda debate about whether or not to open the windows. I fucking hate COVID. Among the many other tragedies of COVID, it made congregational board meetings so much worse.

I’m going to skip the next question because I don’t have anything interesting to say about it.

“3”) How many emails do you delete every week?

Not enough.

So many emails. Also, this conversation about windows and COVID risk makes me feel like banging my head against a wall. Image by Mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

“4”) Are you easily distracted, and what do you find distracts you the most?

Hahahahahaha. Yes. I actually don’t watch any new TV shows even if people tell me that I’d enjoy a certain show, because I don’t need more ways to distract myself. Hell, I can get distracted enough watching re-runs. You could put me in a prison cell and I’d still find ways to get distracted.

“5”) Have you ever had a strange unexplained encounter that left you shaken and baffled and if so, what do you think it was?

A woman at synagogue recently asked me if I was pregnant and I was truly baffled at how mind-blowingly rude people could be. Literally, this was the conversation:

Woman: So, I see you’re expecting.

JYP: No, I just got fat* during the pandemic.

*Yes, I gained weight, went up a size, and am officially overweight now, but I really don’t think that I appear “fat” to an outsider by any reasonable definition. Like if you saw me in person or in a photo, I really don’t think your first thought would be “Wow, JYP is fat!” (“JYP is unattractive/unphotogenic” maybe, but compared to the average American woman over 35, I don’t think I look fat.) I mostly used the language of “fat” so that she’d feel more ashamed of herself for touching on a deeply painful subject.

It didn’t work.

Woman (significantly larger than I am): Exactly! You were slim and now you’re not!

Then she had the gall to try to get me to volunteer for something. So yeah, I left this exchange baffled that she thought that this was in any way acceptable to say.

Oh wait, I just re-read the question and I think this was supposed to be a question about supernatural/paranormal activity, not normal human asshole behavior. At the risk of sounding like a crazy religious person, I can think of a couple moments that felt like an act of G-d (both good and bad – divine intervention and divine punishment). I don’t feel like going into detail.

Board Meeting Aside:

We’ve moved on from the windows conversation. Hallelujah!

Skipping the next question because I have nothing to say about this one either.

“6”) What do you think are the magical ingredients for writing a bestseller and do you think you could write one?

Being a celebrity. I’m not a celebrity (although not for lack of want) so probably not.

Board Meeting Aside:

Now we’re talking about our COVID policy re: vaccines, masks, etc. How many times have we had this conversation? FML.

Even these stock photo models look totally over it. Photo by Edward Jenner: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-using-her-laptop-on-video-call-4031821/

“7”) When was the last time you stayed awake all night having fun with another person, and what were you doing?

Shavuot 5771 (2011). Then-Boyfriend and I went to awesome, engaging all-night learning for Tikkun Leyl Shavuot and then closed the night going to a Jewish a capella group performance at ~4:30 AM (it was organized in honor of the holiday) and then went to bed around 5 AM. Best Shavuot experience ever.

I bet y’all were expecting some graphic NSFW TMI answer but a) I’m a lady, and more relevant b) I like it in the morning. 😉

“8”) Would the 18-year-old you recognise the older you if you both collided on the street today? If not, why?

I don’t think my face/body looks dramatically different. (Hopefully my 18-year-old self wouldn’t be a fucking bitch and ask me if I’m pregnant…) but personality/inner self-wise, I’m completely unrecognizable from the person I once was.

“9”) What are you most looking forward to in 2023?

Absolutely nothing.

I have no reason to believe that moving/better living situation/children/any improvement in our marriage/life will happen in 2023. I have no plans to be excited about, we’re going to reach another year of marriage with nothing to show for it, and there’s no reason to believe that any socioeconomic/geopolitical situation in the world at large will improve. Fuck New Years.

I don’t believe this at all. Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

“10”) Are you more curious or are you more passionate, or are you both?

I didn’t know that “curious” and “passionate” were opposites.

“11”) Can you easily recognise your flaws, and do you think it is important?

It is more important for the other people in my life to recognize their flaws.

Board Meeting Aside:

Meeting adjourned. Hooray!