Ponds Update: The Sharks

If you recall from the last non-update in this ridiculous saga, I gave up my vacation for absolutely no reason because it turned out there were basically no homes available. Husband said this was progress though because we had agreed on a pond (Jewish community) and were now focused on getting a house.

[Personally, I am a “the destination is the destination and the journey doesn’t mean a damn thing if you don’t actually get there” person vs. a “the journey is the destination” person, so I don’t think any of this is progress until we’re actually packing our shit into moving boxes. Not very motivational. But I’ll grudgingly agree that agreeing on something for the first time in 2.5 years was a mildly positive development.]

No offense to Hemingway or this kind content creator, but I don’t believe this. “Traveling quote by Ernest Hemingway” by Conny Sandland is licensed under CC BY 2.0.

But ok, we found a pond.

It turns out that the pond has sharks.

I know sharks don’t live in ponds but bear with me. Photo by GEORGE DESIPRIS: https://www.pexels.com/photo/selective-photo-of-gray-shark-726478/

Meet The Sharks

Shark #1

We met Shark #1 at a party of sorts (the hosts barely knew us, but they were kind enough to extend an invite). At first glance, Shark #1 appeared a friendly, innocuous young woman.

But as I observed her in conversation, it became clear that she was a shark. She asked fellow party guests intrusively personal questions under the guise of being social, learned their deepest insecurities, and mocked them. I knew her for a grand total of 10 minutes and I could already tell she was a deeply horrible person. The kind of person to whom you say anything and she’ll weaponize it. That kind of awful.

And that in this pond, given who she was and the type of Jewish community this is, she’d be hard to avoid.

Shark #2

Shark #2 is my sibling.

Now to be clear, unlike Shark #1, I genuinely love my sibling. However, my sibling is the kindest, most caring person you’ll ever meet, and simultaneously, the most self-centered unreasonable judgmental person you’ll ever meet.

Currently, our relationship functions quite well because I do the following:

  1. I only initiate conversations with them on a limited list of topics [selected key hobbies and interests, work (especially complaining about coworker stupidity), family member updates]
  2. I never tell them anything outside of that above-mentioned list requiring emotional intimacy because I don’t trust them at all.
  3. I listen politely when Sibling wishes to vent about something and nod in agreement because Sibling cannot deal with perspectives other than their own.
  4. I never tell Sibling when Sibling does something to upset me because it is not worth it; Sibling always thinks they are right, even when they are not.
  5. I see and make plans with Sibling only periodically.

This system isn’t perfect, but it works reasonably well and ensures that when I do see and talk to Sibling, we both enjoy the experience.


Sibling Shark recently decided they want to move to the same pond that Husband and I are eyeing.

I love my kind, caring shark of a sibling, but I don’t want to live that close to them. Image by GraphicMama-team from Pixabay

This means that I can do either of the following:

  1. Continue to look for a home to live in the only pond Husband and I agree on, knowing that we’ll be living amongst sharks.
  2. Find somewhere else to live that isn’t The Only Pond We Agree On. Which, seeing as we fundamentally disagree on what makes for a good place to live, is going to be futile.

Fuck. My. Life.


  1. In this politicized political climate, I have often worried extensively about what I would/would not say with people I knew to have a different point of view. In retrospect, those conversations never materialized because we discussed totally other things amicably. So maybe things will not turn out as dire as you imagine them today. (Easy for me to say since I am not you or in your particular situation.)

    Liked by 1 person

    • If only politics were the only communication issue between myself and Sibling! (We aren’t aligned on politics either and politics is not on the list of topics I mentioned for a reason, but politics also isn’t remotely close to the reasons why I can’t confide in them). I don’t know Shark #1’s politics and frankly don’t care. But you make a fair point that one has no idea how these things will ultimately turn out.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh dear! I’m so sorry things seem so dire. Shark 1 sounds horrible, and I hate people (sharks?) like that!!

    I can empathize with the sibling issue, and my sister and I are completely on the outs. I hear ya!!

    I’m sad that it’s all been such a struggle for you lately!! Ugh. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have no problem never speaking to Shark #1 ever (I warned Husband not to talk to her ever, which Husband thought was stupid, but Husband couldn’t remember her name and probably won’t end up talking to anyway – Husband seems to be mildly traumatized from his dating days such that he doesn’t go out of his way to talk to women he doesn’t know) although she’ll be hard not to run into. But my sibling will be impossible to avoid if they move to town…

      You have a point, although it feels like we’re in limbo anyway because there’s nothing for sale and no better rentals in this area anyway.

      Liked by 1 person

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