2023 Just Started And It Already Sucks

To be honest, I knew it would…

Late 2022, I got a sale promotion email from a retailer of special occasion dresses. It was a good deal. I started putting items in my online shopping cart.

Then I realized that I had no special occasions in 2023. There was absolutely nothing on the calendar for 2023.

Well, technically that isn’t quite true. There are some things on the calendar. Someone (not me) is expecting a baby. Someone (not me)’s baby is turning one year old. But,

1. These are things happening to/for other people
2. Neither is really something that I‘m looking forward to

2023:
Nothing to look forward to.
New year, but same shit.

New year, no plans. Photo by Jess Bailey Designs: https://www.pexels.com/photo/close-up-photo-of-yearly-planner-beside-a-pen-1558691/

How It Started

Day 1 of 2023, Husband proposed an idea for Passover 2023, a holiday I normally like. His idea wasn’t completely ridiculous. The reality was that the Passover experience I’d previously enjoyed was not going to be an option this year or possibly ever again.

But it just felt like he was twisting the knife. In addition to having nothing to look forward to, he had to take a Jewish holiday I might have enjoyed and ruin that too.

January sucks.
I hope Spring will be better;
it probably won’t.

State Of The Marriage 2023

Predictably, we started fighting. If you couldn’t tell, our marriage is fan-fucking-tastic. We are in couples’ counseling. No one (except, now, the entire internet) knows this.

The irony is that our wedding anniversary is coming up. My mother called, excited to gift us some theater tickets. I thanked her for the anniversary gift.

“Oh no,” said Mom. “The tickets are for your birthdays.”

(Note: it is nowhere near either of our birthdays.)

“I want to give you something else for your anniversary,” Mom continued.

“You mean like treating us to dinner after the show? That would be wonderful, thank you!” I said graciously.

No – Mom had something far more expensive and extravagant in mind. Orders of magnitude more expensive than a dinner.

I realize that having loving parents who are happy that you are still married and want to gift you really expensive shit to celebrate is an extremely privileged first-world problem. However, with our marriage problems in the background, I am finding it really hard to get excited about our anniversary.

Everyone says
“Happy anniversary!”
I can’t celebrate.

Cheers, but to what? Photo by Анна Орлова: https://www.pexels.com/photo/crop-woman-with-shiny-glass-against-wall-with-shadow-6041461/

State of The World 2023

The world at large, seem to be about the same. War in Ukraine continues. Violence. The housing market has not improved; Husband and I see some more unsuitable and overpriced house options because nothing else is available. Everyone tells me that we’re headed for a recession and that 2023 is the year when we should be able to take advantage of other people’s misfortune – setting aside how distasteful and tone-deaf that is, I’ll believe it when I see it.

January 1st:
The world has not changed so much – 
Same as yesterday.

New year, same dumpster fire. Photo by Nijwam Swargiary on Unsplash

Back To Work

The worst part about coming back to work after a weekend or a holiday is that, besides the fact that you’re back at work, if your weekend/holiday wasn’t restful and restorative, well, sucks to be you. Break is over. And you can’t complain about your life outside work – it’s not professional.

Going back work after a new year is even worse. Despite the influx of “New year, new you!” style messaging (which I do not like) from everyone everywhere, despite the focus on new year’s resolutions, despite all the business pressures to get 2023 off to a good start, despite the fact that as a manager, I need to give the same “new year, rah rah rah!” cheerleading to my team, I do not feel any of this. I feel emotionally wrung out after yet another tough weekend. I’m supposed to “bring it”, but I don’t have “it”.

Time to buckle down.
I would rather cocoon, but,
New year, new Monday.

***

TMP, dVerse