A Whole Bunch Of Quickies

I have a lot of thoughts (I’ve been away and working on other stuff) but I don’t have the time or mental energy to write about them. I do feel compelled to write something though, so I will instead answer selected questions from Rory The Autistic Composter‘s Morning Dawdles.


1) Is it easier or harder for you to make friends online rather than offline?

This depends on your definition of “friends”. If I’m in the mood, I can and often do strike up a fun, interesting conversation with almost anyone I meet offline. But to go from “fun interesting conversation” to “real friendship” is not always an easy transition. Online, I can meet a lot of people through blogging. But it’s a smaller subset of online people that I feel close enough or trust enough (and even for “trust enough” this is an anonymous blog for a reason) to consider a friend.

Also, my friendships tend not to get to the place where I feel like I have friend(s) that I can tell everything to. Husband is probably the closest person to that role, and that’s mostly because unlike when I get mad at other people, I have absolutely no problem telling Husband why I am mad at him (I do this very often) – and even then, I still don’t think of Husband as a friend to whom I can tell everything.

In case you are wondering, I did not meet Husband online. We met the old-fashioned way – at a party while we were technically dating other people. But I digress.

Nothing says old fashioned romance like meeting in person when neither of you is single. Photo by cottonbro studio: https://www.pexels.com/photo/couple-sitting-at-the-table-3171204/

“2”) What five letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?

I’m mad this question isn’t “what three letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?” because I really wanted to make a small penis joke. Get it – pen, penis?

By the way, I realize I blog about penises a lot. Don’t get the wrong idea – I am not some weird penis-obsessed person. I just think penises make excellent writing material.

The pen is mightier than the sword, but the penis provides the best writing material. Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay


1) How hard is it for you to ask for help if you need it?

Put it this way. You know how stupid and incompetent I am at cooking? The smart thing to do would be to ask my cooking-competent friends for advice and recipes. What I actually do is the following:

  1. Pretend I am an amazingly talented and intuitively skilled at cooking such that I don’t need to look at recipes.
  2. Talk to people about cooking as if I am good at it (I enjoy watching cooking shows, so I learn all the vocabulary and I tend not to sound like such a dumbass in public)
  3. Never ever invite friends who are good at cooking over for a meal at my place.

2) Are there any phrases that people use that annoy you immensely?

We are in this together“, “New normal“, “social distancing” and pretty much anything anyone said a lot during the pandemic. I will not miss the stupid vocabulary of this era.

Lies. Image by Stefan Schweihofer from Pixabay


“1”) Where do you prefer to do most of your clothing shopping – online or in-store?

Seeing I have put on enough weight such that I’m officially overweight, my ass no longer fits in my bathing suit, and random people come up to me to ask if I’m pregnant and then tell me to my face that I got fat, and I don’t know my size anymore, I prefer not to go clothes shopping. It’s not fun anymore. Besides, there are no special occasions coming up and I can mostly work at home, so as long as I can stretch enough crappy wear-around-the-house clothes around my growing ass, I guess I don’t really need to go clothes shopping.


“1”) What old fashioned way of doing things is better than how they are currently done?

Using a toilet. High-tech automatic toilets waste billions of gallons of water a year.

[By the way, I realize I have written a lot about toilets lately. Don’t get the wrong idea – I’m not some weird toilet-obsessed person either. It’s just that there is a lot to say about toilets.]

Anyway, it’s now possible to get smart sinks you control with commands like “fill spaghetti pot with 8 ounces of water” so you can presumably waste money and waste time instead of wasting water. There are also smart showers with cool features like fun LED lights to monitor water usage and voice activated temperature and sound controls. Which is cool, but arguably, a better way to reduce water usage is to spend less time showering, not make the shower so exciting that you won’t want to get out of the shower.

This is the problem with smart technology – it doesn’t make humanity any smarter.

I think the smart toilets are mocking our stupidity. Image by Peter H from Pixabay

“2”) Are we consuming too much information and data and is the modern world bad for us?

I disagree with the premise of this question. I don’t think much of what we consume actually deserves the title of “information” or “data”. “Information” implies that the content is delivering something useful, and “data” implies that there has been a valid scientific study. Think about the last time you consumed content on the internet and consider whether it really fit into those categories. That’s like calling the clickbait they post on news sites “journalism”. Have you read the news lately? It’s really just snark-worthy entertainment.

Do we consume a lot of media? Yes. But to call that media “information” or “data” is a stretch, I think. Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay


“1”) How many bananas do you eat a week?

Just like that Five Guys “hot dog” story I wrote about in a previous post, I question if this is really a question about “bananas”.

If we’re talking about literal bananas, I eat zero bananas a week because I do not like bananas. If we’re talking about figurative “bananas”, well, I’m a lady and I’m not going to answer that on the internet. 🍌

A lady doesn’t spill her banana habits. Photo by Deon Black: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-person-holding-yellow-banana-fruit-5750195/

Ok, maybe I am a penis-obsessed person after all….

“2”) Do you think self-help books actually help or hinder?

In the noble tradition of wannabe influencers, I shall answer this question with shameless self-promotion: If you’re dissatisfied with the self-help books in your life, check out my Advice/Life Lessons blog category! Unlike the other self-help writers/advice-givers/wannabe influencers in your life, I openly admit when I am fully unqualified to give advice and that you should just read it for entertainment.

I might not give damn good advice, but I’d like to believe I provide damn good entertainment. Photo by Frame Harirak on Unsplash

“3”) Should we all be more social and not enjoy solitude so much?

I am the wrong person to answer this question to answer this question because I didn’t know “we enjoyed” solitude so much. Then again, I learned during the pandemic that I am the kind of extrovert who cannot bring myself to perform basic hygiene tasks like changing my clothes or showering if there was no chance of seeing people, so perhaps I am biased.

Then again everyone is biased, so I’m gonna answer this question anyway. Yes, everyone should be more social. Bring back kiddush in shul! Throw more parties! (And invite me! I love parties!)


1) What are your views on Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex’s published memoir ‘Spare’?

Thanks to the media coverage of “Spare”, I have learned more about Prince Harry’s penis than I ever needed to know. It makes me wonder what Prince Harry’s ghostwriter thought about the over 15 penis references. Also, I am wondering if Elizabeth Arden will use “Spare” as a celebrity endorsement for treating frostbitten todgers.

I’m guessing an 8 Hour Penis Relief Cream won’t fit Elizabeth Arden’s brand image, but it’s a heck of a product endorsement. “Elizabeth Arden” by chooyutshing is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0.

Otherwise, I have no interest in the book and no opinion on it.

2) Is the glass half full or half empty for you?

I’ve already written about how I’m such a nihilist that I don’t even think it matters whether the glass is half full or half empty because there’s no happy outcome for it anyway.

“3”) What mistakes do you make over and over?

Time management. Specifically, thinking that anything I label as a “quickie” will be short and not take much time to write. I guess I’m really not one for quickies.

This was supposed to be a short, quick blog post…Photo by Ivan Samkov: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-working-in-home-office-4240505/


  1. Hey, you had me at quickies! 😮 Great blog post! 😮

    Yeah, I hate the new lingo too, like “the new normal”. I also hate, “Have a good rest of your day.” AAAAAUGH!!! NOOOO!!

    I also don’t like bananas, but I can eat them in a smoothie. It’s a texture thing, as bananas are too mushy. I tried to eat one on the run in college between classes, and that was disastrous, and… no bananas since then.

    I’m still coming to terms with penises. [Nods sagely.] I’ll get there at some point. I just think they’re strange body parts. [Shrugs.] Let’s just put it this way, though: if I had one, I’d never leave the house.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Bananas might be a texture thing for me too. I do like the flavor of bananas in baked goods, and I once had this ice cream alternative made with bananas and topped with lots of Nutella and peanut butter (enough toppings such that any health benefits of bananas vs. ice cream were probably negated) and that was pretty good.

      They are strange body parts. I feel like there are men still coming to terms with them, honestly.

      Liked by 1 person

    • BTW. Did you know that Europe has very strict rules about the size and shape of bananas that can imported? The rules are used to exclude American bananas which are longer, thicker and have less curvature than bananas from the Canary Islands and North Africa. I can see their point. It’s easy to gag on those big old American bananas.

      Liked by 1 person

        • This is basically why Brexit happened, because the Daily Mail and The Sun newspapers spent years making fun of this rule and others like it until half the country was convinced the EU was a bureaucratic waste of time. I did not know about the trade war aspect of the banana rule, though.

          Liked by 1 person

          • The trade wars are so self-defeating. I’m reminded of the time when I was working for a company that was in the process of moving some of our product manufacturing to the USA. Then, between the Trump tariffs implemented to supposedly protect American manufacturing and the retaliatory tariffs from China hitting our raw materials and packaging components, it became far too expensive.

            I suppose that is the pitfall of making fun of the news as I have been doing in my “News Updates” and also in the political satire novel I started writing. It’s all in good fun until someone takes it seriously enough to enact really bad policy. Hmmm…

            Liked by 1 person

  2. Online friends is such a strange idea in the first place. I suppose you could say you have some, but it is so incredibly one-dimensional if you do. Then again, I have so few “real” friends, and in most cases I present much less information in real life than I do online.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think that’s how people come to feel as close as, if not closer to their online friends. Also, I have offline friends with whom I only interact with in a very limited way (eg. friends whom I participate in a shared hobby with) but we don’t interact outside of that capacity, so those feel one-dimensional in a way too. But it is odd being friends with someone when you know none of their external info like location, job, family, or even their name or what they look like sometimes.


      • Yeah. Funny–it is the true, purest form of the classic Platonic relationship, I think.
        I found it interesting where in some cases, online people have revealed details about themselves to force their status to what it is in real life–I mean, say, a man who is 6’2″ tall is probably used to being treated with a certain deference, (really, it’s true) but online, no one knows his height, so he may reveal it in some off-hand way. I’ve seen this happen more than once. Same with doctors and lawyers, or in cases where people will reveal their occupations so that we will all “know” how to interact with them. I respect online people who don’t do this, who are willing to play the game and stick to what they can write down in order to present themselves to the OL community.
        For the record, I have always been a peon in real life. I used to be 6′ tall, but now I’m real old and somewhat shrunken and probably struggle at 5’11”.

        Liked by 1 person

        • So in offline life, while I don’t love everything about my career path, I have a career niche and title that sounds cool and impressive to other people. Like if I go to a party or if I’m networking, it is very easy for me to talk about my career in a way that looks cool and enviable to others. I want an anonymous blog and it’s still hard to keep from bragging about my job sometimes. It is weird how much this is a part of human nature.

          Liked by 1 person

          • So I have carefully read all your posts and picked up sufficient clues to determine your true occupation. You are a marriage counselor by day, and an exotic dancer Tuesday through Thursday nights.
            You know, it might be fun to declare some occupation and start blogging as if it’s true. Hmm. Deserves some thought. Being retired, myself, it’s difficult to justify talking about my past job without it sounding like the wheezing ruminations of some doddering old fart.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Actually, I have the Saturday night – Monday night exotic dancing shift. But close though! 🤣

            I’ve got mixed feelings on blogging under a fake occupation. On the one hand, people have been lying on the internet since the dawn of time and why should we expect bloggers to be any more noble than the men on online dating apps? On the other hand, it does seem as though fellow bloggers expect more honesty from fellow bloggers than they expect from online dating apps, so I would feel bad. But the nice thing about being retired is that you could blog a juicy tell-all about your former employer(s) and they can’t fire you!

            Liked by 1 person

  3. Not sure where to begin through the laughs of it all and the TMI of Harry’s penis.. ha.
    That toilet picture is hysterical.
    i’ll buy you “self help” book but now I’m wondering if I’m qualified to publish mine after this.😱

    Liked by 1 person

    • The crazy part is how I didn’t need to make up any jokes about Prince Harry Duke of Sussex’s penis – they were all right these in press about the book because his member is apparently also a main character in the book. All I did was pull some links.

      The toilet pic is a stock photo. I’ve been reusing it across multiple posts because I like it so much.

      I’ve come to believe that the trick to publishing self-help books isn’t whether you are qualified, but whether you appear qualified. Get some good marketing and you’ll be fine. 😁Good luck on your book!

      Liked by 1 person

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